Considering they hadn't been spotted together in months and spent the Fourth of July weekend apart, Stacy Keibler and George Clooney's split didn't exactly come as a surprise. But even though it was expected, a breakup is still a breakup — and after two years with George, Stacy's got to be hurting. To find out how she should best cope, we turned to celebrity relationship expert and author of Love Rehab: A Novel in 12 Steps, Jo Piazza.
"No one needs Love Rehab more than the woman breaking up with the world's most eligible bachelor," Piazza tells Wetpaint Entertainment. "Stacy needs to put a plan in motion to make sure she comes out on top after this split."
Herewith, Love Rehab's 7 post-breakup rules... and how Jo thinks they should apply to Stacy:
Rule 1: Staging a dramatic outburst never leads to a grand gesture. "Stacy has played the first stage of the breakup well," notes Piazza. "She's controlling the drama. But one of these days soon she could start feeling twinges of regret. Let's hope she doesn't crash the red carpet of his next movie and profess her undying love."
Rule 2: Reality dating shows are not reality. Don't drink that Kool-Aid. "Avoid watching The Bachelorette at all costs. No one wants to see another woman get happily married on national television only to realize they'll never have that Lake Como wedding."
Rule 3: No drunken booty calls. They're never, ever attractive. "Italy is nine hours ahead of Los Angeles, so by the time you're leaving the bar, he's just waking up — and no one wants tears with their morning mimosas."
Rule 4: Never mix social media and relationships, until he puts a ring on it... then maybe. "Stacy should unfriend the entire Ocean's cast ASAP."
Rule 5: Thou shalt not believe the myths of the romantic comedy. Thou may only indulge for the snappy dialogue. "Stacy, don't even think about ordering One Fine Day on Netflix."
Rule 6: Stop picturing your wedding day on a first date, in Trader Joe's, or after a guy at a bar sends you a text message. "Make sure the next guy you date is actually open to marriage and kids, unlike Clooney."
Rule 7: Sometimes things just end, and that has to be OK. "As long as Stacy's grown up about this split, George will allow her to bask in the joys and monetary gains of being someone who once slept in proximity to the elusive Clooney."
Hear that, girl? Follow Jo's advice, and you'll be back to breaking hearts again in no time!