As the "Fine Arts Administrator or something," Sue Sylvester asks Will for the set list for Sectionals. Hmm, knowing Sue, we're guessing she won't be using those set lists for something benevolent. When Sue requests the names of the particpating schools, Will suspects she is leaking information to the competition. What a shocker. He pays a visit to Grace Hitchens (guest star Eve) at the Jane Addams Academy and asks her point blank if Sue gave her their set list. Hitchens denies this, but is confident her girls will win anyway. Feeling guilty, Will offers Hitchens' club the use of McKinley's auditorium for a glee club scrimmage. Will is so easy to manipulate!
After the Jane Addams squad performs a sexed-up version of Destiny's Child's "Bootylicious," Rachel assures a worried Will the girls were merely using "hairography" — whipping their hair around to mask their weak vocals and choreography. Yet clueless Will still wants the group to do a song from "Hair" complete with wigs... and hairography. Gotta keep up with the Joneses — or rather, the Janeses.
Quinn wonders whether Puck might be a better father than Finn, so she decides to take him on a "test drive." She enlists Kurt to divert Rachel with a makeover under the guise that it will help sway the Sectionals judges... and Finn. How does Rachel not see that she's being used? Well, we guess that a chance at Finn is enough to make anyone throw common sense to the wind!
That night, Terri rejects Will's intimate advances for fear he will figure out her baby bump is fake. She decides to sidetrack him by buying his old high school car to refinish. Guys are so predictable.
Rachel confesses to Kurt that she has a thing for Finn — this triggers Kurt's jealousy, as he also has a crush on Finn. To turn Finn off to Rachel, Kurt makes her over into the opposite of what Finn has told him he's into — in other words, a made-up slut. Hey! That's what friends are for! The next day, Finn is shell-shocked to see Rachel all glammed up. He agrees to go to her house to rehearse that weekend. Step one: completed!
When another Sectionals competitor, Haverbrook School for The Deaf, learns that Will loaned out his auditorium to Jane Addams, Dalton Rumba (guest star Michael Hitchcock) from Haverbrook demands his glee squad also be invited to a scrimmage. That'll show Will not to ever do something nice for someone again!
After catching the glee club practicing hairography, Sue accuses Will of having no confidence in his numbers. She reassigns herself as co-director of glee to keep tabs on him, and we're guessing it's not because of her passion for complex harmonies and fake smiles.
Terri is upset when Quinn informs her she's keeping her baby. Terri's crazy sister Kendra proposes they change her mind with the reality of her situation. They make her babysit Kendra's sons in order to turn her off motherhood. Quinn invites Puck to come along and they distract the rowdy kids by performing Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach." Because there's nothing rowdy kids like more than a high school kid strumming a song that came out 25 years ago! Terri is worried when she and Kendra return to find the boys contently sleeping after their bath. (Uh-oh. Terri and Kendra's plan isn't working.) Puck tells Quinn this is proof they can be good parents. We wouldn't jump to any conclusions if we were you, Puck!
In her bedroom, Rachel slithers around in a full-body catsuit like bad girl Sandy Olsson at the end of "Grease." Finn admits she looks like a "sad, clown hooker" and not herself. Duh! He likes girls that are more natural. The next day, Rachel confronts Kurt about setting her up. She realizes that Kurt also has a crush on Finn. Kurt claims they are both mere distractions for Finn because the reality is Finn is having a baby with Quinn, and neither of them can compete. Ouch. Looks like just about everybody wants a piece of Finn!
In the scrimmage with Haverbrook, New Directions performs their number wearing wigs and doing new choreography with lots of hair-flipping. The deaf students can only laugh. They get up to sing and sign a simple version of John Lennon's "Imagine." Inspired, the McKinley students sing alongside the Haverbrook glee club as one group, learning all their signed lyrics. You know you're in trouble when you need the deaf kids to show you how to properly perform a song.
Santana orders Quinn to stay away from her man, Puck. She claims to have been "sexting" with him while he was babysitting with Quinn! Quinn sees Santana's texts on Puck's phone, and Puck explains that he still has needs and won't stop being himself when he's a dad. And what kid wouldn't want to have a dad who still sends sexts? This coerces Quinn to changing her mind and agreeing to give Terri the baby because Quinn trusts Will is going to be a great father. Will shows Terri that he traded the sports car for a minivan. We appreciate the sentiment, Will, but a minivan? We'll definitely let you know if we find your manhood.
Finn confesses to Quinn that he went to Rachel's house, yet he really only wants to be with Quinn. Rachel and Kurt sadly watch as the couple shows their love to each other. We hate it when attractive people are in love, too!
Will apologizes to Sue for not listening to her warnings about the song choices. He gives her the new setlist. Gulp. Later, Sue convinces Miss Hitchens and Mr. Rumba to take McKinley's setlist. "Never let anything distract you from winning," she emphasizes. Now that's a quality teacher!
1. Bootylicious — Destiny's Child (2001)/ Album: Survivor Jane Addams Academy choir 2. Papa Don't Preach — Madonna (1986)/ Album: True Blue Quinn Fabray, with Puck on guitar 3. Crazy in Love/Hair — Beyoncé Knowles (2003) from Dangerously in Love and "Hair" from Hair: The American Tribal Love-Rock Musical, which debuted on Broadway in 1968 New Directions 4. Imagine — John Lennon (1971)/ Album: Imagine The Haverbrook School for the Deaf choir and New Directions 5. True Colors — Cyndi Lauper (1986)/ Album: True Colors New Directions 6. Don't Make Me Over — Dionne Warwick (1962) Mercedes Jones