More filler ensues for the Macy’s Stars of Dance, which features the cast of Mary Poppins performing “Step in Time” from the hit Broadway show. It did answer my lingering question of how many chimney sweeps could fit on the DWTS dance floor. (Answer: a lot.)
Taylor Swift then performs “Mine,” another surefire hit (surefire, if only because it sounds just like all of her other hits) from her new album, Speak Now. She wasn’t quite as out of tune as she usually is during live performances, she looked super cute, and she sported a really cool glitter gui-tar, so it was a general success. Plus, we got to witness abundant goofy dancing courtesy of the DWTSSolid Gold Dancers, aka Lacey, Dmitry, Tony, and Chelsie.
Back to the DWTSAwards, with the nominees for "Best Worst Dancer" (along with funny and incriminating video evidence!):
Billy Ray Cyrus
We think The Woz should have won solely due to Bruno’s hilarious description of his performance (“it was like watching a Teletubby going mad at a gay pride parade”), but the real winner was Kenny Mayne, who accepted his award in person. He took the opportunity to reveal that next week, he’ll come back to do the often-funny “Dance Center” segment with Jerry Rice and Len Goodman.
Backstage, Brooke interviews Jennifer and Rick, who both say boring filler stuff about how they’re having so much fun, don’t want to get eliminated, and have learned so much from being on the show.
The elimination continues as Jennifer & Derek are pitted against Rick & Cheryl. After more back story where we see Jennifer get weepy about her painful injury, we learn that Jennifer & Derek are safe, and Rick & Cheryl are still up for elimination.
Before the next commercial break, there were lots of celeb cameos congratulating the show on its 200th episode, including Bristol’s mom, Sarah Palin. See, we think that’s proof that even GOP superstar Sarah Palin cares more about DWTS than the silly mid-term election results!
Tom and Brooke announce the nominees for another award for the "Biggest Dancer Transformation":
Louis Van Amstel
The winner of the slightly creepy “Golden Ponytail Award” was the gracious and still cute Louis Van Amstel.
We’re down to the final three couples up for elimination. Bristol & Mark are safe, so now it’s only Kyle & Lacey and Rick & Cheryl in jeopardy.
Before we learn which couple is eliminated, the cast of Skating with the Starsis announced:
Bethenny Frankel (reality star from The Real Housewives of New York and Bethenny Getting Married?)
Johnny Mosley (Olympic gold medal skier)
Rebecca Budig (star of ABC daytime soap All My Children)
Brendan Michael Smith (Disney Channel star)
Sean Young (actress, James Woods stalker, and adorable crazy person)
Vince Neil (Motley Crue frontman)
Skating with the Stars will premiere live after DWTS on November 22.
Back from yet another commercial break, we learn that Kyle & Lacey are safe, which means Rick & Cheryl are eliminated. It could be worse, though: at least Rick got more prime time airtime tonight than all those pesky politicians, pointless initiatives, and boring ballot measures.
Rod Stewart then performed Cole Porter's “I Get a Kick Out of You.” But what we really got a kick out of was Rod Stewart performing a song about how cocaine has no effect on him whatsoever. He complemented the ironic lyrics with the dance moves of of a sleepwalking Buzz Aldrin.
Tom and Brooke then announce the “Best Judges Moments” with a montage of the best quotes, comments, and antics from Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno over the years.
There was then a break for an election update, blah blah blah House and Senate races blah blah blah national debt blah blah blah stimulus and taxes... what-EVER! We just want more dancing and glitter!
Back to our regularly scheduled programming and the really important things in life: two more couples are put up on the chopping block. Kyle & Lacey were up for elimination and Kurt & Anna were safe.
Taylor Swift then makes a second appearance with another slightly out-of-tune rendition of her mega-hit ballad, “White Horse.” Since this is DWTS after all, a schmaltzy video plays in the background showcasing memorable moments from the past 199 DWTS shows. Tom gets a little starstruck and spoofs a Marie Osmond fainting spell. Back from commercial, we see a package montage about how stressful it is appearing on the show. At least all the politicians who are in the fights of their lives tonight don’t have the kind of stress the stars of DWTS must endure week after week!
And then the unthinkable happens: the show is preempted by a local campaign update. But all hope is not lost: it’s a split screen with DWTS. The news anchor quickly says they’re going to head back to the regularly scheduled programming because, as he so wisely states, “there are some important announcements about to be made on Dancing with the Stars.” Way to get your priorities straight, local “news” man.
Sure, some drips and blowhards might think that tonight was all about the mid-term elections and a little thing called The Future of Our Country. But not us! Tonight was really all about the very important DWTSsecond 200th episode (yeah, we know that would mean it's really episode 201, but...). Who cares if a witch gets elected to the Senate! We know that, behind closed doors, what people really, really want to know is which couple will have their dreams of winning the coveted Season 11 Mirrorball trophy forever dashed.
We like to call this second 200th show "Fillerpalooza." After 199 practice shows, the DWTS producers have finally perfected the art of filling an hour and a half of precious prime air time with things like dancing chimney sweeps, tone-deaf-and-twangy teen music, and Rod Stewart dancing like an arthritic Buzz Aldrin while crooning about cocaine. Elections, shmelections. We voted with our remote control tonight and wholeheartedly support “Hell to the Yes!” on Initiative DWTS.
Tonight’s show opened with Len commenting on how nice it is to see “so much fantastic dancing” and requested an encore performance from Team Apollo. Dancing the Cha-Cha-Cha to Young MC’s “Bust a Move,” Brandy & Maks, Kurt & Anna, and Jennifer & Derek did indeed bust a move. In harem pants, no less.
Tom and Brooke then started things off by putting Brandy & Maks and Bristol & Mark in the elimination hot seat. Brandy & Maks are safe, which means Bristol & Mark are still up for elimination.
Back from commercial break, "Fillerpalooza" continues with the DWTS Awards. First up: "Most Dramatic Moment." And the nominees are:
Kate and Tony’s Fight
Misty May’s Injury
Marie Osmond’s Collapse
Kelly’s Wardrobe Malfunction
The winner was Marie Osmond, who accepted via satellite with a funny jab at her former pro dance partner, Jonathan Roberts.