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Top 10 Castle Wisecracks from Season 3, Episode 9: “Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind”

Between possible alien abductions at work and awkward dinners at home, Castle had a lot on his plate last night. Check out his best lines and some from his comrades in the Top 10 Wisecracks from Episode 3.9: “Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind.”

10. Castle (to Alexis): Oh no, you couldn’t convince Gram to stay out of the kitchen. I’ll stock up on antacids and garbage bags.

Does Martha knowingly cook with salmonella or something?

9. Castle (to Alexis): I can be buttoned-up. And if I become unbuttoned, you can discreetly let me know with a swift kick to the shin.

She might as well just stab him in the shin. Probably equally painful.

8. Martha (to Castle, on Alexis’s lengthy phone call): Please, I’ve had relationships that didn’t last this long.

...she's not really joking.

7. Castle (to Alexis, on having to meet her boyfriend’s parents before the bf goes hiking with them): Ah, they want to vet me. Make sure if there’s some kind of rock slide that I won’t leave their boy stranded on a mountainside, having to gnaw off his own arm to survive.

One would hope that would be a given.

6. Castle (to the secret agent interrogating him): Is the part where you bring out the old Nazi with the dentist drill?

Why are you giving him ideas?

5. Castle (to Beckett): I’m not asking you to dye your hair red and call me Mulder.

But, you know, he’d probably be cool with it if she was down. Whatever. Totally her call.

4. Castle (to the secret agent interrogating him): With CIA? NSA? MIB? Oooh, shape-shifting aliens that only look human?

The agent remained silent, realizing even he isn’t sure.

3. Castle (when author Benny Stryker explains his government conspiracy theory): Like that Will Smith movie. Only, I’m guessing, a lot less funny.

Unless he was referring to Wild, Wild West, in which case, it’s probably a lot funnier.

2. Beckett (after hearing about Ryan’s cousin’s post-party “encounter”): That’s not called an alien abduction. That’s called a hangover.

Yeah, same difference.

1. Castle (to Beckett): We do have a box of bugs. That’s the next best thing to a Batphone.

He means “bugs” as in listening devices, in case that makes it more realistic.

Related: Recap of Castle Episode 3.9: "Close Encounters of the Murderous Kind"

11.16.2010 / 10:03 PM EDT by Lauren Bull
Related: Castle, Top 10 Lists

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