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The 2010 Show Stalker Awards

We're TV-holics. No point in hiding it, especially since we're the writers and editors of Wetpaint. We live, eat, and breathe our shows, which are so fabulous they deserve every award imaginable! Then why are they so often snubbed by the — what are they called? Emmys? We’re going to fix that. Yes, details like acting, writing, and directing deserve some props, but we'd like to honor those peeps who make us moan, or shriek, or laugh the loudest — sometimes with them, sometimes at them — but who are inexplicably left in the shadows. Without further ado, we're thrilled to announce the nominees for Wetpaint's 2010 Show Stalker Awards! Vote! But only until December 23. Winners will be announced the week of January 3. Their mothers will be so proud!

Let the voting begin!

Worst Drunk
Character We Wish We Could Bring Back from the Dead

That wraps up this year's Show Stalker Awards’ list of nominations. Please vote carefully and thoughtfully up until December 23, 2010 — these coveted Stalkies are literally in your hands. We'll announce the winners, or depending on the category, the best of the losers, the week of January 3, 2011.

Thanks for participating and keep watching all of your fave guilty pleasures... we won't tell.

Craziest Cat Fights
Most In Need of Pants
Most Unflattering Moment
Biggest Fame Whore
Worst Foray Into Music
Grossest Moment
Best Made-Up Word
Character We Wish We Could Kill Off
Best One-Liners
Best Bromance
Biggest Tool of the Year
Credit: Carrozzini/Pottle Productions Inc ©2010 Pottle Productions Inc/MTV/Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo/Frazer Harrison/Ian Gavan/Getty Images    

Hey, we know you can't always be beautiful and flawless, but producers are downright mean for airing these shameful shots. Which of these near-degrading scenes deserve this esteemed recognition?

And the nominees are...

- Bristol Palin Gorilla-Suits Up (Dancing with the Stars): Sarah Palin's daughter tried to rock the jive wearing monkey chic, but the outfit proved to be super-monkey weak. Plus, the overwhelming costume didn't help Bristol's dancing much.

- Esther Gets Manly (America's Next Top Model): It seems unfair to dress Esther up as a man considering her, ahem, assets. At least now she knows that five-o-clock shadow is not a good look for her.

- JWOWW's Mesh Top for Space (Jersey Shore): Wowwww is right. We don't care how great your bod is, this 80s-but-worse, boob-revealing top was a fashion joke.

- Botox Moment (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills): Um, gross. Just gross.

- Josh Sussman (aka Jacob) Dons His Birthday Suit in Sue's Office (Glee): After getting caught, um, having a little too much fun with himself while viewing some footage of Rachel dressed up as Britney Spears, Jacob gets a lecturin' from Sue. Not the Glee star we were hoping to see shirtless.

- Taylor Momsen Flashes Crowd (Gossip Girl): This stunt wasn't even part of any script; Ms. Momsen simply felt the best way to express herself as an artist with her band was to play peek-a-boo with her ta-tas at a live performance. The Pretty Reckless? More like the "pretty dumb."

    Credit: Christopher Polk/Getty Images for Las Palmas/Sergei Bachlakov/The CW/MTV/Patrick Demarchelier/Pottle Productions Inc    

    And by worst drunk, we mean best drunk, of course. Because if there's one thing that makes for good TV, it's a sloppy, slurring display of utter hammered-ness.

    And the nominees are...

    - Audrina's Mom (Dancing with the Stars): Oh boy, this potty-mouth rant had journalists jumping for joy. Talk about Hollywood gossip gold.

    - Wanda Perkins (Hellcats): The woman hurled on Marti in front of an entire gymnasium filled with her peers — need we say more?

    - Entire Cast (Jersey Shore): Whether they're mixing them, chugging them, or throwing them at people, one thing's for sure: Drinks and the cast of Jersey Shore make for a volatile combination.

    - Liz (America's Next Top Model): We were pretty embarrassed for the Top Model hopeful when she downed an entire bottle of white wine and proceeded to spend an intimate evening with the floor. Not a good look for you, honey.

      Credit: Adam Rose/FOX/Wilford Harewood/Bravo/Quantrell Colbert/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/MTV/Brian Ach/Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images    

      As entertainment writers, we are big supporters of all art forms and always encourage multi-talented actors to pursue careers in the music industry. Unless they're these actors.

      And the nominees are...

      - Mark Salling (Glee): We definitely dig Puck's renditions of "Run Joey Run" and "Beth," but Mark's rock/jazz album Pipe Dreams? Well, let's just say the title is quite fitting.

      - Kim Zolciak (Real Housewives of Atlanta): Don't be tardy for the party... unless Kim Zociak is the opening act. In that case, definitely plan on showing up at least an hour late.

      - Katerina Graham (The Vampire Diaries): This saucy vixen is a real scene-stealer on TVD, but her new single "Sassy" is, well, not that sassy... despite enlightening lyrics like "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the freshest of them all?"

      - Pauly D. (Jersey Shore): Sir, step away from the DJ booth...

      - Leighton Meester (Gossip Girl): The actress may play the queen bee of the Upper East Side, but when it comes to her music career, the title "court jester" comes to mind.

      - Taylor Momsen (Gossip Girl): It's hard to believe, but Taylor's attempts at Emo rock are just too depressing and cliché.

      - Larry "Pants on the Ground" Platt (American Idol): This 63-year-old wast last season's William Hung with an absurd performance of his original song: an inexplicable, overnight sensation on the Interwebs.

        Credit: KC Bailey/Patrick Wymore/Quantrell D. Colbert/Bob Mahoney/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/MTV/MITCH HADDAD/ADAM LARKEY    

        From the awesome — J.D. and Turk from Scrubs — to the worst ever — Dawson and Pacey from Dawson's Creek — bromances have become a standard on our favorite shows. Here are some standouts from the past year.

        And the nominees are...

        - Chuck and Nate (Gossip Girl): Remember the good old days? Oh, how we miss the strong bond between these two. Plus, they were so gosh-darned pretty together.

        - Mr. and Miss J (America's Next Top Model): As you know, when these two walk into a room, they are greeted by a pack of screaming girls. Okay, so maybe the wannabe models would erupt into glass-shattering shrieks if a random math professor sauntered into view, but that doesn't mean that Mr. and Miss J. aren't da bomb.

        - Alaric and Damon (The Vampire Diaries): These kindred spirits definitely make an impressive team protecting Mystic Falls and the Gilberts. Not to mention that Dalaric is one of the best couple-name mashups, um, ever.

        - M.V.P. (Jersey Shore): Mike, Vinny, and Paul were on fist-pumping overload when they realized their first names spelled out this kick-ass acronym, a sign of true bromance.

        - Ryan and Esposito (Castle): These chemistry-charged sidekick detectives have such a strong connection that they're nearly stealing the show from Beckett and Castle. Could a spin-off be in the works? Sign us up!

        - Matthew Morrison and John Stamos (Glee): On screen, these two play romantic rivals Will Schuester and Dr. Carl, fighting over cutie-pie germaphobe Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays), but off-screen they're best buds. The two even have pet names for each other: J. Sizzle and Matty Fresh. Too far?

        - Damon and Mason (The Vampire Diaries): Sure, Damon may have stabbed Mason at some point or pulled his heart out of his chest, but don't be fooled... this unlikely bromance went deep.

        - Jesse Kovacs and Dave Good (The Bachelor Pad): When the popular dating franchise decided to throw together a bunch of ex contestants, we knew there was potential for some matches, but we weren't expecting these two to hit it off in this spectacular bromance.

          Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images/MTV/ABC/ADAM LARKEY/Adam Larkey/ABC via Getty Images    

          Really, it's somewhat ridiculous that this category needs to exist. People, please, for the love of television, put on some damn pants.

          And the nominees are...

          - Taylor Momsen (Gossip Girl): The controversial star's aversion to pants is borderline creepy, don't you think? Oh right... she's Taylor Momsen.

          - Snooki (Jersey Shore): If you absolutely refuse to put on a pair of trousers and prance around in those nearly nonexistent headbands you call skirts, at least have the decency to sport some underwear.

          - Bristol Palin in Her Skivvies (Dancing with the Stars): We're not sure if it was her dancing or her lack of bottoms that landed Bristol and her partner on the chopping block. Luckily, The Situation is way worse and therefore got the boot... that week.

          - Jake Pavelka Channeling Risky Business (Dancing with the Stars): Ugh, this scene was wrong on so many levels. Seriously, our eyes are still recovering from that tighty-whitey hip thrust.

            Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Kevin Winter/Taylor Hill/Getty Images/GIOVANNI RUFINO/THE CW/Rick Rowell/ABC via Getty Images/MTV    

            Believe us, it was a daunting task to try to narrow down the candidates for this prestigious award, but we did the best we could.

            And the nominees are...

            - The Situation (Jersey Shore): Surely the favorite in this category, Mike Sorrentino is the epitome of a d-bag and he's proud of it, too.

            - Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl): We don't care who you are, there's no excuse for being a round-the-clock jerk. Of course, he's not bad to look at...

            - Entire Cast Except Chris L. and Roberto (The Bachelorette): From dudes with girlfriends to dudes who wait until almost the very end of the series to decide to get back together with ex girlfriends, Ali's roundup of choices weren't exactly all winners. Luckily, her final two were both super adorbz and great guys... too bad she couldn't just pick both.

            - Jake Pavelka (The Bachelor): Considering there's a Facebook page called "Jake Pavelka is a D-Bag," we're pegging this worst-bachelor-ever as a dark horse in this race.

            - Scott Disick (Kim and Kourtney Take New York): Does anyone out there like this guy?

            - Ronnie (Jersey Shore): We know who Sammi is going to vote for!

              Credit: Quantrell Colbert/Bob Mahoney/Patrick Harbron/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/Byron Cohen/ABC via Getty Images    

              Saying goodbye to a fictional loved one is a tough loss for us here at Wetpaint -- except when they're totes annoying anyway. These folks, however, will be sorely missed... but who is most in need of a resurrection?

              And the nominees are...

              - Vicki Donovan (The Vampire Diaries): Remember when our favorite troublemaker popped our TVD cherries, being the first human to be turned into a vampire? Too bad Stefan had to stake her in the heart. We liked her!

              - Mason Lockwood (The Vampire Diaries): Is there anything more tragic than being denied Mason's drool-worthy shirtlessness? Whyyyyyy?

              - Jenny Humphrey, Pre-Zombie (Gossip Girl): Once upon a time, there lived a sweet, girly-girl with a sunny disposition. Man, we miss her.

              - Denny (Grey's Anatomy): We're still sniffling over Izzy's short-lived husband (terrible pun, we know) leaving us far too soon... not to mention Izzy herself.

                Credit: Giovanni Rufino/The CW/MTV/Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo/Brakha Squared/Pottle Productions Inc ©2010 Pottle Productions Inc.    

                Get out your claws and let the hair-pulling begin! Yep, it's time to celebrate the most dignified of all activities: The catfight. Meow!

                And the nominees are...

                - Blair vs. Serena in Paris (Gossip Girl): It's all fun and games until a socialite ends up in a fountain. Girls, try to compose yourselves, please.

                - Snooki vs. Angelina (Jersey Shore): One of the more epic fights this year, this guidette scuffle got started when Angelina was hating on everyone in the house and Snooki felt a need to stand up for her "family." Her "family," by the way, supported her by moving furniture out of the way and standing around snickering.

                - Kyle vs. Kim Richards (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills): Ah, aren't sisters wonderful? Not so much if you happen to be Kyle or Kim.

                - Kacey vs. Everyone (America's Next Top Model): For reals, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed every single day. We’re not sure Kacey has enough room for this Stalkie with all the Byatch Statuettes crowding her mantelpiece.

                  Credit: MTV/Giovanni Rufino/Quantrell Colbert/The CW/Rick Rowell/ABC via Getty Images/ABC/DANNY FELDWilford Harewood/Bravo/Adam Taylor/FOX    

                  In this day and age, television can get away with almost anything — super-naughty sex scenes, soap-in-the-mouth language, Jersey Shore... Unfortunately, networks also have the liberty to turn up the yuck factor. Here's our list for this year's things that made us say "Eww."

                  And the nominees are...

                  - Angelina Leaves a Used Pad on the Bathroom Floor (Jersey Shore): Yep, the oh-so-popular roomie doesn't have a problem leaving her feminine products hanging around on the floor for the world to see. Even worse, The Situation places it under her pillow. Surprise!

                  - Jenny Sleeps with Chuck (Gossip Girl): Jenny is practically a child... how do you take her virginity like that? Let us guess... you're Chuck Bass.

                  - Pie-Eating Contest (The Bachelor Pad): We hope no one was sitting down to dinner in front of their TVs during this disgusting contest-turned-puke-fest. Programming at its best here, folks.

                  - HPV Victim (Grey's Anatomy): Don't judge us for getting squeamish when this grotesque patient arrived at Seattle Grace — even Lexie screamed out loud... and she's a doctor!

                  - Damon Pulls Mason's Heart Out (The Vampire Diaries): Since Damon concludes that Katherine will only rip Mason's heart out, he goes ahead and does it for her. With his bare hands. How thoughtful of him!

                  - Phaedra's Pickle Photo Shoot (Real Housewives of Atlanta): Phaedra is all class and wanted to do an "artistic" photo shoot to document her pregnancy, so, obviously, a jar of pickles was the go-to prop. We're sure her son will be thrilled about these pics when he's a teenager.

                  - Any of the Crime Scenes (Bones): From maggoty deaths to bodies melting before your eyes, this show definitely isn't stingy when it comes to grossness.

                    Credit: MTV/Tony DiMaio/Startraks/ABC/ADAM LARKEY/Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo/Andy Kropa/Getty Images    

                    It's no surprise that reality royalty dominates this coveted category, since living your actual life on national TV is kinda the definition of a fame whore. We're expecting a very close race indeed.

                    And the nominees are...

                    - The Situation (Jersey Shore): Noted d-bag Mike Sorrentino not only flaunts his abs any chance he gets, but was also willing to embarrass himself on Dancing with the Stars. Courageous.

                    - Vienna Girardi (The Bachelor): Anyone who couldn't see that Vienna went on the dating show to launch herself into the celebrity stratosphere has to be a complete moron.

                    - Jake Pavelka (The Bachelor): Speaking of said moron, Jake was either stupid enough to pick Vienna for his blushing bride or smart enough to know choosing the obnoxious faux-blonde would earn him the most publicity. Another DWTS alum, Jake went on to televise his breakup with Vienna, too. Nice.

                    - Kim Zolciak (Real Housewives of Atlanta): From Big Poppa to lesbian lovers, this wigged-out housewife will stop at nothing to be the center of OMG attention.

                    - Kim Kardashian (Kim and Kourtney Take New York): If one of the things you're famous for is your ex-husband calling you a fame whore to the press, chances are you probably are. Especially if the other thing you're famous for is your badonkadonk.

                      Credit: Art Streiber/Giovanni Rufino/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/MTV/Mike Yarish/FOX/ABC/ADAM LARKEY/Quantrell Colbert/Bravo    

                      It's no secret that we love us some zingers, so we obvi couldn't leave out this category featuring some of our wittiest Wetpaint celebs. The competion is tough, but in the end, who do you think got the last word?

                      And the nominees are...

                      - Damon (The Vampire Diaries) for... "That's for me to know and for you to dot, dot, dot."

                      - Blair (Gossip Girl) for... "Signs are for the religious, the superstitious, and the lower class."

                      - Vanessa (Gossip Girl) for... "I didn't sign up for some creepy love triangle with you and someone's mom."

                      - The Situation (Jersey Shore) for... "I mean you can hate on me all you want to, but what can you possibly say to somebody who looks like Rambo pretty much with his shirt off?"

                      - Sue (Glee) for... "Oh hey there, William. I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair."

                      - Castle (Castle) for... "Let me tell you something about crazy people: the sex is unbelievable."

                      - NeNe Leakes (Real Housewives of Atlanta) for... "I'm a size 10... I could be a size 8 if i wanted to, but I'm effin’ hungry."

                        Credit: Mathieu Young/GIOVANNI RUFINO/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/Bryan Bedder/Getty Images/janeff/istockphoto/Adam Rose/FOX    

                        The English language is evolving every single day. And, yes, once in a while our prized TV addictions contribute fab new terms to our ever-growing vocabulary. Seinfeld added “Festivus” to our holiday happenings, Friends gave us “nubbin” for that rare third nipple, and Bart Simpson introduced us to “craptacular,” a superb adjective. Here are some more M.U. words worthy of making the Stalkies.

                        And the nominees are...

                        - Grenade Grundle Chode (Jersey Shore): The ugliest dude in a group of male hotties. Used in a sentence: "It's surprising how fine Danny Wood turned out because he was totally the grenade grundle chode of New Kids on the Block back in the day."

                        - Sangwiches (Jersey Shore): Slang for sandwich, often used by Italian-Americans living in New York or New Jersey. (Pauly D. is from Rhode Island, but whatevs.) Used in a sentence: "Yo, lemme get a ham sangwich ovah here."

                        - Dreckitude (America's Next Top Model): A hot mess, especially when referring to style and fashion. Used in a sentence: "Honey, those pink leggings paired with that leopard hat? Dreckitude."

                        - Smize (America's Next Top Model): As coined by Tyra Banks, this word is shorthand for "smile with the eyes." Used in a sentence: "Girl, you better get yourself in front of a mirror and practice your smize if you want to get anywhere in this competition."

                        - I'm Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl): A universal phrase that automatically excuses or explains away any situation, most effective when uttered with a smug, arrogant expression. Used in a sentence: Person 1: "Dude, what the hell happened to you? You got up to go to the bathroom and never came back... I got stuck with the bill!"
                        Person 2: "I'm Chuck Bass."

                        - Controlist (Glee): A controlling person; a control freak. Uttered by Finn in Season's 2 preem, we actually think this would make a fine addition to any dictionary.Used in a sentence: "Rachel is what you would call a controlist."

                          Credit: Giovanni Rufino/Sergei Bachlakov/The CW ©2010 The CW Network/ABC/RON TOM    

                          Then again, some characters would be better off dead. Don't lie, you know you'd be cranking "Another One Bites the Dust" and doing a happy dance if some of these TV personalities read their last script.

                          And the nominees are...

                          - Vanessa Abrams (Gossip Girl): This meddling outsider is beyond annoying. To make matters worse, her fashion sense is most def not up to par. We're not saying she has to die, but a one-way trip back to Vermont will satisfy us.

                          - Jenny Humphrey (Gossip Girl): The new conniving version of Jenny has got to go. Plus, her look crosses the fine line from Goth to trashy, big time.

                          - April (Grey's Anatomy): Enough already with April's inane babbling. Whoever had the bright idea to make her a series regular must be deaf.

                          - Alice (Hellcats): This mean girl has got it out for everybody: Marti, Savannah, Lewis, Dan, the cafeteria lady, the random guy that just passed her on the street. Lighten up, lady.

                            Biggest Girl Crush
                            Credit: Quantrell D. Colbert/Ben Mark Holzberg/GIOVANNI RUFINO/Michael Courtney/The CW ©2010 THE CW NETWORK/Noel Vasquez/Getty Images/Mike Yarish/FOX/Randy Holmes/ABC Family    

                            We're not saying you want to get all college-style experimental with these ladies, but rather that you think these ladies are awesome, you wish you were them, or that they were your BFFs. Or, maybe you do want to make out with them a little bit. Whatever floats your boat.

                            And the nominees are...

                            - Katherine Pierce (The Vampire Diaries): There's something about a bad-ass chick with a mission that is tough to resist. Plus, remember when she slammed Stefan against the wall with one hand? Yeah, we want that power.

                            - Maggie Q (Nikita): Could this woman be any more gorgeous? Oh, and she performs all her own stunts. That's cool and bad-ass.

                            - Serena van der Woodsen (Gossip Girl): Love! We dig how Serena refuses to settle and is set on living life to the fullest rather than doing whatever it is she's "supposed" to do. Plus, hello, we so want to raid her closet.

                            - Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl): Yet another woman who knows what she wants and gets what she wants, even if she does rely on her social status to achieve her each and every goal. Bottom line: This is one chick we want on our side.

                            - Ali Fedotowsky(The Bachelorette): We totally heart cute-as-a-button Ali and couldn't be happier for her and Roberto. The adorable blonde is living proof that nice guys don't always finish last... they do, however, finish second (sorry, Chris L.).

                            - Marti (Hellcats): A focused law student/spunky cheerleader with drop-dead gorge looks who juggles Lewis and Matt, two of the hottest guys gracing our DVRs? Rowwrrr.

                            - Brittany S. Pierce (Glee): We can't get enough of Heather Morris's deadpan comic genius, so we were way psyched when she got her first front-and-center number in this season's "Britney/Brittany" eppy. It's about time — she's, like, only the best character on the show.

                            - Shailene Woodley (The Secret Life of the American Teenager): We totes fell in love with this chick, as well as the awesomeness of her ABC Family drama show. Sooo good!