Simon Says: Top 10 Simon Cowell Insults
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American Idol

Simon Says: Top 10 Simon Cowell Insults

Now that Simon Cowell is over at that other show, we can't help but get misty-eyed looking back at his insult-riddled time on Idol. Whether an Idol wannabe was tone-deaf, just plain boring, or resembled a wild animal, Simon wasn't afraid to tell it like it was. (Sigh, we'll miss him so!)

As you might expect, sifting through Simon Cowell's best put-downs wasn't an easy task, but here are our picks for the top 10 Simon Cowell insults from his days on American Idol.

*Quick tip: These insults are even more entertaining when read out loud in a British accent.

10. So what? She's got a unique voice! (Season 7)
Simon, to Kristy Lee Cook after she performed the Beatles' "Eight Days a Week":
You sounded like Dolly Parton on helium.

9. How many episodes did he wait to bust this one out? (Season 6)
Simon, to Idol hopeful Kenneth Swale during auditions:
You look a little odd, your dancing is terrible, the singing was horrendous, and you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with the massive eyes. What are they called? Bush babies.

8. It's true: We've never met an exciting handle...
You have the personality of a handle.

7. Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the meanest of them all? (Season 6)
Simon, to Sanjaya after he debuted his "pony-hawk":
I presume there was no mirror in your dressing room tonight.

6. Even the ex-wife is fair game (Season 6)
Simon, to Idol hopeful Topher McCain — who told a sad story about his wife leaving him:
I'm tempted to ask if you sang that the night before your wife left you.

5. Simon is his own brand of torture
You have just invented a new form of torture.

4. Pure genius (Season 5)
Simon, to semifinalist Bobby Bennett after he crooned Barry Manilow's "Copacabana":
If you hear a scream from a hotel room in Las Vegas, that's where Barry Manilow's watching this show.

3. Has Simon actually picked Cher up from the dentist? (Season 6)
Simon, to Marianna Riccio after she performed The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go": You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist.

2. Legal advice, Cowell style (Season 1)
Simon, to a lady who belted out "Lady Marmalade" in auditions: You should sue your singing teacher.

1. Sticks and stones may break our bones...
If you would be singing like this 2,000 years ago, people would have stoned you.

Don't agree with our picks? Share your fave Simon Cowell insults in the comments below!

12.2.2010 / 04:58 AM EDT by Latoya West
Related: American Idol, Simon Cowell, Top 10 Lists

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