Top 20 Most Hilarious Lisa Vanderpump Quotes of All-Time
An episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills without a snappy Lisa Vanderpump quip is like a day without sunshine. Her witty take on the crazy drama is one of the main reasons we’re going through RHoBH withdrawal. So here are Lisa’s funniest, boldest lines from the entire season (although picking our favorites was kinda like ranking our own children). Because Lisa is like movie-theatre popcorn — we just can’t get enough!
20. The husbands didn’t seem to mind. (Episode 1.3: “Plenty of Baggage”) Lisa:Camille’s dancing was, like... she was really shaking it and moving it. I think all that’s missing was a pole, really.
19. It’s officially part of the lexicon now. (Episode 1.6: “The Art of War”) Lisa: I fell like I’ve been shagged through a hedge backwards. Kyle: Wait, isn’t shagged… Lisa: Dragged. Kyle: I thought you said, “shagged.” Lisa: Maybe I did.
16. Camille didn’t get mad. She got everything. (Episode 1.14: “Reunion, Part 1”) Lisa (about Kelsey Grammer and his fiancée Kayte Walsh not getting a prenup): He won’t need one, ‘cause he won’t have any money left.
15. We’re guessing Lisa’s not referring to a thumbs up. (Episode 1.8: “Charity Cases”) Weird old guy at the DMV: How many fingers am I holding up? Lisa: Not as many as I’ll be holding up in a minute.
14. Can we borrow those books? (Episode 1.3: “Plenty of Baggage”) Lisa:Taylor was playing with that cotton candy. She was kind of licking it and chewing it. Doing things that I had only read about in books.
11. Lisa only expectorates under extenuating circumstances. (Episode 1.12: “Turn, Turn, Turn”) Lisa: The thing is with wine tasting, is you don’t swallow — you spit. It kinda goes against everything I’ve ever been taught, really.
9. There are at least three things wrong with Taylor’s description. (Episode 1.3: “Plenty of Baggage”) Lisa: “All I’ve heard from Taylor is that Russell is this big, sexy Texas cowboy, and then in walks Russell… [Laughs uncontrollably.]
8. Do you see a podiatrist for that? (Episode 1.12: “Turn, Turn, Turn”) Lisa: Obviously, I made a mistake wearing my Louboutin shoes; I should have worn flats. But flats to me is like a disease.