Recap of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 1, Episode 8: “Charity Cases”
Why exactly did Kyle invite her 14-year-old daughter to watch her bikini wax? We can’t imagine that watching your mom’s special area get waxed is high on the to-do list of the average teenager. (On another note: We hope this is the last time that we ever use the words “your mom’s special area” for quite a while.)
This week, we find out that Lisa is none too pleased with Kim, who had too much to drink on her blind date last time with Martin, and then made him drive her home. Lisa is insulted that Kim never thanked Martin, but if you’re waiting for Kim to exhibit common courtesy, you might as well be waiting for Ice Cube to win an Oscar. (Translation: It’s gonna take a while.)
Come to think of it, we always thought that Camille was the crazy one in the group, but now we realize that Kim’s craziness might not have been getting the recognition it deserved. First of all, Kim invites over someone she met at the grocery store who had introduced himself as Single Gary — not that he’s desperate or anything!
Secondly, when Gary walks in, Kim then picks up someone else’s random infant and pretends to start nursing it. Say what?! A note to Kim: If you think that this is the kind of joke that puts guys at ease on a first date, then you might have been out of the game a little too long.
Meanwhile, Mauricio and Kyle are realizing that biking isn’t as easy as Lance makes it look. Kyle is so exhausted after their charity race in Napa that she collapses onto her hotel room floor as soon as she gets there, and you’ve got to be pretty tired to be willing to lie down on hotel carpeting without constantly thinking about all the gross things that have also been on that carpet.
Over at the DMV, Lisa and Cedric are hoping to finally get their licenses. Lisa passes her test, but Cedric doesn’t — not that we should have been surprised. (Does he seem like the studious type to anyone?) Maybe Kyle and Mauricio will let Cedric borrow one of their bikes!
Camille, while running with some girlfriends on the beach, informs us that Kelsey is planning to stay in NYC. But surely this is just a minor setback in their relationship, right? Yeah, right — just like that rumbling sound that the people of Pompeii began to hear coming from the volcano was just a minor convenience that would soon be forgotten.
Camille may not have any friends on this show, but Taylor and Adrienne were pretty inseparable this week, whether they were taking out their husband-related frustrations on that poor kickboxing instructor, or Adrienne was cleaning up at the poker table at Taylor’s charity event after claiming to be terrible at it. Right, because why would the person whose family owns a casino know anything about poker?
Taylor is quite nervous about the event, and not just because she has to pretend to be excited when being introduced to Kato Kaelin and Jose Canseco in this “celebrity” poker tournament. (It’s like, “Nice to meet you, Kato and Jose. So when do the celebrities get here?”)
Taylor actually has to give a speech to the group, during which she explains that she was the victim of domestic abuse. She ends up making a great speech, but it can’t be easy to deliver something so serious when you’re surrounded by a bunch of adults who are voluntarily wearing cowboy hats while indoors.
All told, this wasn’t one of the most drama-filled episodes that we’ve ever had. Actually, it looks as though the drama is being saved for next week, as Camille throws what promises to be the Dinner Party From Hell! That’s the kind of party that would make being trapped under ash in Pompeii seem like a welcome alternative.