CAMILLE Ranking: 6 Last week’s ranking: 5 Here’s why: It’s hard to care about Camille when the only interesting thing she really did was hit on poor Nick for the millionth time. This week, saying that Camille was a valuable part of the show would be like saying that a new Ringo Starr solo album is valuable to the music industry.
KIM Ranking: 5 Last week:2 Here’s why: Has anyone been more clueless about basic social conventions than Kim? She doesn’t thank Martin for her ride home, invites over a guy who brings his granddaughter, and then pretends to breastfeed someone else’s baby. Plus, what was with that song that she started singing about... chicken? Kim somehow comes up with weirder song material than R. Kelly.
KYLE Ranking:4 Last week:1 Here’s why: She and Mauricio have by far the healthiest marriage of all the housewives. So why does Kyle want to test it by continuing to add more children? And frankly, it’s not all the extra work that we’d be worried about with another kid. It’s having to sit through even more of those Eddie Murphy family movies.
ADRIENNE Ranking: 3 Last week: 6 Here’s why: She proves to be a great friend by attending Taylor’s charity event, not to mention a great poker player. But what was with that baby blue cowgirl outfit she had on? Did she come straight from her day job as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader?
TAYLOR Ranking:2 Last week:4 Here’s why: Quite the emotional episode for Taylor, as she shared her experience with domestic abuse. And it’s not like she could look to Russell for comfort. Russell provides about as much support as you’ll get from the soles in a pair of Payless shoes. (Read: That’s not a lot of support.)
LISA Ranking: 1 Last week:3 Here’s why: Lisa finally takes back her place in the top slot (after having ceded it to Kyle for the last two weeks)! Lisa passes her driving test, teaches Kim about common decency, and puts that weird DMV guy in his place, all in the same week. There’s apparently nothing that she can’t do (which is also the same thing that we say about duct tape).