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Gleek Edition: Top Brittany S. Pierce Quotes of All Time

We recently covered Brittany’s top 10 quotes of all time, which was quite the feat considering just how many incredible one-liners our favorite ditzy Cheerio drops. But as it turns out, we barely even scratched the surface! Our faithful readers came back with some of their most beloved quotes— and they’re so funny we just had to share. After all, more Brittany is always good Brittany, right?!

So, in no particular order, here are some of YOUR favorite Brittany quotes!


1. “I think the duck’s in the hat.”

2. “I think my cat’s reading my diary.”

3. “Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?”

4. “Please don’t pull out my teeth. When I smile, I’ll look like an adult baby but with boobs.”

5. “Can I be honest? I don’t understand the difference between an elf and a slave.”

6. “Last year I left my stocking up over Christmas vacation and an entire family of mice started living in it. Their Christmas gift to each other was rabies.”

7. “Even the smallest envelopes are heavy to an elf.”

8. “Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.”

9. “I’m going as a peanut allergy.”

10. Mr. Schue: “Can anyone tell me what a duet is?”
Brittany:”It’s a blanket.”

11. “I thought Dr. Pepper was a dentist.”

12. Mr Schue: “Does anyone know what a ballad is?”
Brittany: “It’s a male duck.”

13. “He’s the dumbest person on the planet, and that’s coming from me.”

14. Santana: “Sex is not dating.”
Brittany: “If sex were dating, me and Santana would be dating.”

15. “Is God an evil dwarf?”

16. [Patting Jacob’s hair] “It’s like a Jewish cloud.”

17. “I find recipes... confusing.”

18. “Sometimes I forget my middle name.”

19. “I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold and I took all my antibiotics at the same time. Now I can’t remember how to leave.”

20. “You’re really tan, Santa.”

01.5.2011 / 04:03 AM EDT by Heidi Suke
Related: Glee, Top 10 Lists, Brittany S Pierce

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