What do we love? We love watching Housewife Danielle Staub doing what she does best: kickin' the crazy into high gear. Here's our collection of Danielle's best (worst?) moments from The Real Housewives of New Jersey Season 1.
"Have a good life... or die. I don't care."
After being stood up by virtual lover GucciModel at Lua
(a real shocker), Danielle makes a final fruitless phone call to deliver this bitchy message to her absentee date: "Have a good life... or die. I don't care." We're pretty sure GucciModel will indeed have a good life — without psycho Danielle in it."I can't struggle financially anymore. Somebody has to come in and save me and my girls."
Did she really just say what we think she said? What decade are we in — the '40s? We quickly find out Danielle's bum of a second ex-husband, Thomas Staub, isn't paying alimony or child support, and she's running out of money. (Um, a McMansion, a Range Rover, and regular Botox injections? Obviously, her idea of "struggling financially" doesn't quite match up with ours.) What happened to setting a good example for your kids? To being a strong, independent woman? Or just — what happened?!"I'm a little close with my knee there, Joe. I might make you sing a pretty little tune."
When Joe Giudice drops a "gay"-bomb during the Housewives' group dance lesson (it's apparently Mr. Sensitive's "favorite word"), Danielle Staub snaps at the big galoot for his un-PC diction. Joe is not psyched on the unexpected talking-to, and he and Danielle — who won't let go of the issue — exchange some tense words. Cue Teresa
's entry into the fray! Suspecting that Danielle might have thrown a subtle jab at her (she did — "Don't tell me to shut up. I'm not your wife," Danielle said to Joe), Teresa also hops on the anti-Danielle bandwagon. Together, the Giudice's stare daggers at the wall while muttering hateful things under their breath.
All we know is when Joe says, "She better make like she don't know me," it's time to drop the issue. We wouldn't be surprised to learn this thickset dude has a hitman on speed dial."I don't think I'm the hottest woman in the world. I just think I am very confident with the way I look."
Sticking needles in your face to ward off wrinkles doesn't necessarily scream confidence, but this mother of two certainly isn't afraid to show a little skin and flash a little (or a lot) of cleave! Danielle reminds us constantly — with strategically skanky outfits — that she works for her body. Major props to her for being unfazed by the fact that her implants have shifted awkwardly and her tummy is starting to sag. Now that's confidence! "I sat at home alone with diarrhea and throwing up because of you."
Danielle shares this tasty bit of info with the other Housewives at the aptly named "Last Supper." Upset that one of the Housewives dug up a copy of "Cop Without a Badge" and paraded it and its less-than-savory contents around town, Danielle pulls the book out during a Housewives dinner to try to set the record straight. Instead of successfully defending her honor, she kills everyone's appetites with the icky deets on her stomach troubles. And then Teresa flips the table. Epic fail.