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Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior

Top 10 Penelope Garcia Quotes From Criminal Minds

Penelope Garcia is the flamboyant and quirky Computer Technician from the Criminal Minds Behavioral Analysis Unit. In celebration of her move to the Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior team, we’ve pulled together Penelope’s best quotes from Criminal Minds.


Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 9: “Penelope”
Penelope:
When I was in the ambulance I could hear the song "Heroes" playing in my head. I kept flashing in and out of consciousness, everything was really bright and I remember thinking, "Wait, is David Bowie really God?”

Criminal Minds Season 4, Episode 7: “Memoriam”
Penelope:
Ladies and gentleman, I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV, but I believe young JJ is going into labor.

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 5: “Seven Seconds”
Penelope:
Believe me when I tell you the 1980s just called. They want their security system back.

Criminal Minds Season 4, Episode 22: “The Big Wheel”
Penelope (about a serial killer):
He sure likes his blondes. Not a good date, though - too stabby.

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 14: “Damaged”
Penelope (mortified that Kevin will talk with Rossi about their relationship):
If you get within a hundred feet of Agent Rossi, I will unleash an unrecoverable virus onto your personal computer system that will reduce your electronic world into something between a Commodore 64, and a block of government cheese.

Criminal Minds Season 6, Episode 4: “Compromising Positions”
Penelope (voiceover): Abraham Lincoln said, "Whatever you are, be a good one."

Criminal Minds Season 1, Episode 2: “Compulsion”
Penelope: Okay, you know how on Star Trek when Captain Kirk asked McCoy to do something totally impossible and McCoy says, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker!"?
Derek Morgan: Hey, what are you telling me? Not to expect a miracle?
Penelope: No, I'm saying I'm not a doctor.
Derek Morgan: That's my girl.

Criminal Minds Season 1, Episode 12: “Fresh Hell”
Penelope (answering phone):
Penelope's house of "how may I save your ass today?"

Criminal Minds Season 2, Episode 4: “Psychodrama”
Penelope:
Um, pals, don't be ticked, but I think I might have missed the glaringly obvious; how would you make yourself taller without being a different person entirely or having some weird Chinese surgery?

Criminal Minds Season 3, Episode 17: “In Heat”
Penelope (via phone to team):
Prints belong to Deacon Rogers, Odessa, Texas. He's had a couple of minor arrests - one for marijuana possession, one for lewd behavior, which I'm guessing is code for "gay" in Texas.

01.13.2011 / 05:41 AM EDT by Vanessa Wesley
Related: Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior, Penelope Garcia

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