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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Recap of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 1, Episode 12: “Turn, Turn, Turn”

It finally happened! In tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Kelsey gives Camille the boot. And far be it from us to take joy in someone else’s pain (yeah, right!), but our favorite part was Camille saying that she’s been so sad that she’s been losing weight. Way to be subtle there, Camille! She’s like, “Sure, I’m impossible to live with, but check out this killer bod!”

It was also college graduation time for Kyle’s oldest daughter, Farrah. And on this show, the way to show your kids that you love them is to buy them a piece of jewelry that they have no interest in, and to spend an amount of money on it that would feed a family of four for a year, or would buy a decent car, or would pay for one of Lady Gaga’s outfits.

Sure enough, Kyle’s jeweler tells her that a ring she likes is “cheap,” and we see that the ring is actually $4K. Even Kyle balks at the use of the word “cheap,” but the jeweler says it’s cheap by Kyle’s standards — which is like saying that a banana split is healthy because it has fruit in it. (In other words, it sounds like *someone’s* getting paid on commission.)

Meanwhile, Camille is being forced by Kelsey to attend the Tony Awards that week in NYC to allow him to save face, even though he knows that he’s ending their marriage. What a gentleman.

Camille has only told one of her friends about Kelsey’s news and says that her other friends have no idea that her marriage has problems. Of course, we would say that being surprised by trouble in Kelsey and Camille’s marriage is like being surprised to hear that things in the Middle East are a little turbulent.

On a drive to a vineyard with Lisa, Ken finally tells Cedric it’s time to find another family to mooch off of for a while. (Ken’s like, “Parting is such sweet... uh, you know how the rest of that goes. Anyway, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”)

Kyle and Farrah work out with a personal trainer, during which Kyle finds out from Kim that her other sister Kathy (a.k.a. Paris and Nicky’s mom) can’t come to the graduation because their family needs to go to the Cannes film festival. But saying that Paris Hilton is going to be needed at a big film festival is like saying that the president of Applebee’s is going to be needed at a presentation to announce which restaurants receive Michelin stars.

Needless to say, Kyle is distraught that her sister won’t attend Farrah’s graduation. But we couldn’t keep from cracking up as Ron the trainer then got all philosophical about how Kyle shouldn’t worry about what she can’t change. Was he then going to tell us how many angels could dance on the head of a pin? (Translation: Don’t quit your day job, Ron.)

The graduation party goes off without hitch, as Aunt Kathy sends a big bouquet of flowers and a sizable check. (Looks like Kathy Hilton has never met a problem that she couldn’t buy her way out of.) And we also meet Farrah’s biological dad — not Mauricio! — who couldn’t have looked more bored if he had been in the middle of reading Crime and Punishment.

Finally, it’s time for the Tony Awards, so Camille travels to New York and is greeted by Kelsey. Camille tells Kelsey, “It’s so great to see you and to remember all that we’ve overcome in our 13 years together,” and Kelsey responds with, “You’re in my light.” If these two can’t make it...

And so it was an exciting evening, with an even more action-packed final episode promising to arrive next week! In the meantime, we could go for a banana split. Just hold the banana.