Uh oh, guys. We have a seriously upsetting spoiler about Secret Life’s season finale. Keep reading if you dare, but when you have a panic attack and pass out, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Ben and Adrian rush to the hospital because Adrian’s finally ready to pop out the Sausage Heir. Unlike her teen mom predecessor Amy, Adrian doesn’t want the whole school listening to her curse and scream her way through pushing a baby out of her girl parts. It’ll be a family affair — just Ben, Adrian, and that sexy doc. Here’s where things get… disturbing. Francia Raisa says Adrian ends the season unhappily. Wait — having an adorbz baby should be a good thing, right? Something doesn’t add up.
If you’re freaking out, we’re right there with you! Surely nothing bad will happen to Adrian and Ben’s baby… will it? That would be way too intense, even for Secret Life. But what about Adrian’s pregnancy complication last season? Let’s hope it wasn’t an indication of super sad things to come, but considering that she has another scare this season, it probs is. Call us cray-cray, but it looks like Secret Life’s setting us up for one totes tragic ending.
Want more proof? On December 3, Kenny Baumann blasted a troublesome tweet about filming the finale: “Most challenging day of my acting career. Rewarding myself with DMX, a wrinkled shirt, sushi & experimental lit.” We’ll let the whole “experimental lit” thing pass, but only because we’re completely traumatized by the implications of Ken’s tweet. If he’s resorting to mega-dorky coping mechanisms, things must have been pretty intense on set. Wrinkled shirts obvi mean serious business.
We’ve run through all the possibilities of what’s going on here — and believe us, things aren’t looking good. Here’s what we’ve come up with:
1. The baby is born with a serious health problem (which is full-blown crying-your-eyes out tragic). 2. Ben and Adrian give the baby up for adoption (that’d be weird — aren’t these two getting hitched?) 3. The baby is half vampire, half human. Oh dang, that’s Twilight.
Unfortch, all these outcomes are a major bummer (except for no. 3, which is amazeballs). Will Adrian and Ben’s happy marriage crumble in the wake of tragedy? ZOMG, who will they turn to for comfort? We hear Ricky has a muscular shoulder perfectly suited for crying on, and Amy’s bangs could wipe away a million Ben tears. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.