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Real Housewives of Atlanta

Yes, There Will Be Strippers: The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Season 3, Episode 15: “Floridon’t”

So, where were we? Right... NeNe had just threatened to strangle Kim again, who was looking frightened, while Kandi was wondering how the heckers she got herself into this ridiculous situation. Meanwhile, Cynthia, Shereé, and Phaedra are waiting for the bus to arrive in Miami, blissfully unaware of what's coming. This is gonna be one memorable girls' weekend, that's for sure.

Kim's first off the bus, relieved to see someone other than NeNe. NeNe is still all sorts of fired up and wastes no time getting the ladies up to date on the situation, explaining that Kim wants Don Juan and Sweetie at the estate with them. Next thing you know, Kim and NeNe are back at it, with NeNe promising Kim that she will snap her neck. While Cynthia looks around for a bartender, Shereé can't seem to pick up her jaw (especially since she invited Lawrence, too!), and Phaedra looks on, somewhat amused.

So, they arrive at Kim's friend's estate, and NeNe introduces herself to the owner, real estate mogul Thomas Kramer, by saying she can't believe he's friends with Kim. OK, seriously, that's just rude. Plus, NeNe started this whole fight because she was pissed that Kim was going to ruin Cynthia's big weekend by having Sweetie around, but now she's the one ruining it, no? Lame. On a side note, Thomas Kramer's estate is one crazy joint. We're talking taxidermy here, and not squirrels either... like giraffes.

Anyway, Kim and Sweetie have a heart-to-heart talk by the ashtray, where the assistant points out the obvious: "Slaves don't get paid, dumb-ass." We have to side with Kim in this whole slave debate. Yes, Kim calls Sweetie names and talks, shall we say, bluntly to her, but Sweetie certainly deals it back to Kim. Like Shereé said, Sweetie is a grown woman. Of course, who really knows what's going on — we only see what they choose to include in each episode.

Naturally, NeNe tries to turn all the women against Kim. After initially saying she's going to go stay at a hotel, she decides to remain at the estate. That night, all the housewives sit down to the most awkward dinner of all time, with the women resorting to literally staring at the ceiling. Luckily, Lawrence comes to save the day! NeNe is pissed, but Shereé insists Lawrence is one of the girls. Fair enough. Still, NeNe decides to invite her girl Diana to even the playing field.

Back to the tour, Kim and Kandi do their last performance at an outdoor festival. Shereé and Phaedra are both impressed with Kim's efforts, but NeNe still thinks she's a total joke. Kandi rocks the crowd as usual. Can we just say that we're loving the slicked-back hair on her, by the way? So much better than the red rooster look. Anyhoo, in the end, the crew declares the tour a success, with even Don Juan and Kim hugging it out. Aww.

So, the ladies all sit down to lunch, and in strolls Diana. Kim was about to send Sweetie home, but now she's going to let her stay since NeNe broke her own rule. At this point, Shereé, Phaedra, and Kandi are all starting to side a bit with Kim, as they realize that NeNe is being, well, kinda bratty (or another b-word). Next, all the ladies, including Lawrence (minus Kim) rock a workout with Shereé (who has suddenly added fitness instructor to her growing list of occupations). Yep, that's right, Shereé was dealt the 30-second, mid-show vignette AGAIN.

Moving on, Cynthia gets prettied up for her first runway show in two years. With Uptown Supper Club officially closed, it's time Cynthia gets back to work. The women are delighted to find that Cynthia's body is less than perfect, with NeNe commenting on her "junk in the trunk," Shereé noting her booty is a size 12, and Phaedra just plain calling her "a pretzel dipped in cottage cheese." Wow. Jealous much? She looked pretty good to us.

Later, when the women sit down to yet another awkward meal together, the dramz finally shifts off Kim and NeNe when Kandi asks Cynthia about her honeymoon plans and she responds by bursting into tears and running away. NeNe follows her and suggests they leave... over and over. Back at the table, the ladies all agree that Cynthia should put the wedding on hold. Eventually, she comes back and the women all say nice stuff to her. NeNe reveals that they're going to skip out on the bachelorette party, and the women are furious. Bottom line is these ladies are gonna get their strippers, regardless of whether Cynthia stays or not.

So, basically, NeNe went from starting a crazy fight over Sweetie and Don Juan ruining Cynthia's weekend to now desperately trying to get Cynthia to leave her own party altogether. Cynthia decides since they're all there, they might as well have the party, impressing the rest of the ladies by having a mind of her own. Finally, the ice starts to melt a bit thanks to a lot of margaritas and Lawrence's awesomeness. In no time, they're sharing sex secrets and giggling like schoolgirls.

To wrap up the evening, Phaedra's special guests arrive, three absurdly awesome strippers. In other words, girls' weekend in Miami was a success after all.

01.24.2011 / 07:58 PM EDT by Maria Valiente
Related: Real Housewives of Atlanta, Recaps

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