Recap of American Idol Season 10, Week 3: Los Angeles Auditions
Heidi Khzam: This sexy belly dancer seemed to have won over Steven and Randy before she even sang her first note. (Yeah, it could have been the seductive little dance she did for the boys while Steven drummed on the table. Just a guess.) The fact that she knew how to sing was probably just icing on the cake. We weren’t blown away, but her performance of “Superwoman” by Alicia Keys earned yeses from the guys (duh) and even J.Lo. Tim Halperin: This 23-year-old advertising sales rep says he had a crush on J. Lo when he was in elementary school. (Way to make a gal feel old, Tim!) Dude even asked Jennifer how old she was. Despite the slip-ups, he made it to Hollywood after delivering an impressive rendition of “She Will Be Loved.” Randy said no to Tim (what up, dawg?), but Jennifer and Steven thought he had potential. J.Lo also thought he had a “special tone” to his voice.
Tynisha Roches: She’s a 25-year-old “entertainer” from Hoboken, New Jersey, who apparently walks around with a microphone all day long. She sang “My Way” by Frank Sinatra before singing at least two more songs — extremely badly — against the judges’ wishes. Randy would have walked out of the audition if she hadn’t chased him around the room singing into her microphone — which was off, by the way. In the end, Tynisha was escorted out by security... but we may not have heard the last of her. She says, “I have like three albums that are ready to be composed.” Mmm-hmm.
Brothers Mark and Aaron Gutierrez: So, we have two cute brothers who are funny and talented too? Not to mention they look like they just walked out of a J.Crew catalog? Yeah, of course they sailed on through to Hollywood. Mark Gutierrez, a 28-year-old substitute math teacher, and his brother Aaron, a 27-year-old shoe salesman, sang a soulful duet of “Lean on Me” after joking around outside the audition room. Luckily, the funny bros had some serious talent too. “It was Godlike the way you guys sang,” Steven said. “If two people could sing that way together, it’s unbelievable.” Well, we don’t know about Godlike, but we’ll be looking for these cuties during Hollywood Week.
So, American Idol is supposed to be singing competition, a right? We’re just checking because tonight’s L.A. auditions seemed more like some weird comedy reality show with a couple decent singers in between. Where do they find these people?
The contestants who made us laugh loudest:
Matthew “Big Stats” Frankel: He’s the CEO of Matthew Scott Frankel Productions and the proud owner of a bus pass (he’s green, people!). Big Stats — that’s his hip-hop name, natch — showed up in a suit, bragging that he once produced a compilation album that featured Chaka Khan. (We’re thinking that means he burned some songs to a CD that included a song by Chaka.) Dude busted out a rap that made us feel almost as awkward as Big Stat’s roommate looked on camera.
Cooper Robinson: He’s 59 and says he’s from somewhere deep in Arkansas. In fact, he says his home is “on the plantation” and you have to “ride into the woods on a dirt road” to get there. Funny that someone from deep in the woods would come out wearing a flashy costume that jingles and has feathers. We’re just sayin’. Anyway, Mr. Robinson from the woods performed “I Feel Good” by James Brown and attempted some moves that would make the “Pants on the Ground” guy jealous. (Notice, we said attempted some moves.) He was out of breath by the end of the audition.
We won’t even get into the telemarketer who sounded like a dying lamb, or the guy who literally dropped trou while singing “Pants on the Ground.” Let’s focus on the positive, shall we?