10. Beiste plays hard to get Beiste (to Schue): You’re not gonna try and kiss me again, are you?
9. The Black Eyed Peas would be proud Sue: You don’t climb in that cannon and that routine will be all boom boom and no pow, and that, Brittany, is so 2000 and late.
8. Puck’s apologies need some practice Puck: We used to be best friends, before I got your girlfriend pregnant, and then made out with your other girlfriend.
7. Brittany introduces herself, in case they hadn’t met yet Quinn: I’m torn. Santana: Well, I’m not. Brittany: I’m Brittany.
6. Looks like Puck didn’t wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy Football player: Getting all hot-and-bothered about singing a Ke$ha song — it’s freakin’ weird! Puck: Well, maybe you’ll think it’s cooler when I go all tik-tok on your face.
5. As we all know, double rainbows can bring a lot of joy Brittany: The glee club together with the football team, it’s like a double rainbow. A zombie double rainbow.
4. Sue likes those odds Cannon guy: See, if you want to go for more than, say, 50 yards, you’re looking at a 70 percent chance of catastrophic failure. Sue: Which is a 30 percent chance of catastrophic success.
3. Kurt clarifies himself Kurt: Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football — I love scarves.
2. Everyone needs a reason to live Brittany: I don’t want to die yet — at least not until One Tree Hill gets canceled.
1. All newscasters are the same to Sue Sue (to Katie Couric): I hate you, Diane Sawyer.