Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
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The Bachelor

Recap of The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 6: Michelle Needs to Be Dumped in Alli’s Cave

Brad talks to the ladies about how saying goodbye to Alli sucked. He admits he got some grief from some people after not handing out a rose on the group date, but “it is what it is.”

Brad says his conversations tonight are going to be the most important conversations he’s had so far.

He tells Emily he thinks about her a lot and he’s scared of her. She reveals that she woke up feeling like an idiot for saying she sabotages relationships. She just sometimes pulls away. He wants her to feel comfortable. He thinks they are on the same page... but their conversations are even more awkward than Brad’s talks with Alli.

Chantal wonders who gave Brad grief about not giving a group date rose. She decides it was Michelle and doesn’t care for Michelle. She’s wearing another ugly jungle print dress — and it’s way too short.

Brad talks to Michelle, and now he’s saying she’s scaring him badly. He’s afraid of all of these women. What gives, man?

Michelle turns it around and says no, it was Brad who asked her to name the women who should go home. She’s putting it on him. And now she’s tearing up. She knows Brad is helpless in front of a crying woman. “I know that I’m supposed to be here,” she says. Yes! You’re the comic relief.

Shawntel and Brad play the silent game. You can do anything, but not talk. So they stare at each other. She inches closer to him… then kisses him. Smart move, lady. If she had just done that on the group date, he would’ve given her the rose. Right on cue (after the Spanish guitars), Brad says he’s looking for a woman to make him comfortable after a tough day, and Shawntel did just that.

Michelle admits to the ladies that she went to Brad’s and spent 20 to 30 minutes with him. So this is Justin-and-Ali all over again.

Michelle: “I don’t want you to think I go run my mouth off to him about any of you, ‘cause I don’t.” Classic!

Speaking of running your mouth off to Brad, Chantal goes to Brad and tells him her feelings for him have grown. “I have fallen in love with you. I love you.” She knows she’s not going to get anything back, and that’s OK. He wants to know why she thinks she’s in love. She went into the experience thinking about herself, and then all of a sudden it was different. She started feeling for him, wondering how he is. It’s more of a sacrifice.

Since Chantal and Shawntel spoke to Brad’s sex drive and ego, they made his day.
Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
Brad speaks from the heart, which means he says very little other than kind platitudes.

Chantal O’Brien already has a rose from her one-on-one date.

1. Ashley Hebert
2. Emily Maynard
3. Britt Billmaier
4. Shawntel Newton
5. Michelle Money (D’oh!)

Eliminated: Jackie Gordon, along with Alli from the one-on-one date.

Brad calls Jackie one in a million. Jackie feels like she fell short and put up a wall.

Brad and his six remaining ladies are going to Anguilla! We see Brad talking to Britt and Emily. He feels like things are spiraling out of control: “I’m losing the women.” Dude, you lost control of them on day one. They own you. Oh, and Chantal pulls her “send me home” speech again. Enough with the ultimatums.

Wanna know what happens next? Check out Reality Steve’s spoilers for Episode 7.

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Michelle Who?
Exactly what Brad should've said weeks ago!

(No good? Leave a better Michelle knock-knock joke in the comments. There’s gotta be a great one out there somewhere.)

When Michelle Money came a knockin’, Jackie Gordon and Alli Travis went a walkin’ on The Bachelor Season 15, Episode 6. Sanity seemed to check out of Costa Rica at the same time.

Alli's the girl who requested an ass check on the premiere, because she’d once been dumped for her rump. She's forced to endure the least romantic date of all time — spiders and bats and caves, oh crap! — only to be jilted at a sinking dinner table. Michelle, on the other hand, manages to survive a late-night Vienna Girardi-esque booty call with her reputation as the season’s crazy beyotch completely intact.

Roses are just magnetically drawn to Michelle. There’s no other explanation for why Brad Womack keeps her around. Except for the fact that she has the monkeys on her side, which fans of The Wizard of Oz should see as appropriate. (And then there’s the fact that Little Brad seems to be making most of the decisions at this point.)

In Episode 3, Michelle wanted ninjas to drag ladies off into the desert, and now she wants the monkeys of Costa Rica to attack them. So obviously she is indeed a “mature woman” with perfect wife material written all over her black eye patch. Good call, Brad!

No one in their right mind would keep Michelle over sweet Jackie, who pinky swore with Brad that they would not break each other’s hearts. (Oops.) So Brad is out of his mind, which makes him perfect for Michelle. Now if they can just get past Michelle’s nemesis, Chantal O’Brien, they’ll live happily ever after with the men in the white coats. And the monkeys. And the ninjas...

Read on for the details on Chantal’s second one-on-one date, the rappelling group date, Alli’s disastrous one-on-one adventure, and Michelle’s unexpected visit.

Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
The eight chicks still fighting over Brad fly from Las Vegas to Costa Rica. They stay at the Springs Resort & Spa, which has a view of a giant volcano with steam coming out of it. Let’s name that volcano “Michelle.”

Alli wants the date card, but it goes to … Chantal! She gets her second date before Alli or Britt even get their first. Take that!

Date card: "Close your eyes, hold on tight, love is in the air tonight"

Seeing her name makes Chantal feel “special.” Chantal is all about feeling special all the time, which puts her on the wrong show. Also on the wrong show is our beloved Michelle, who must resort to complaining about Chantal to Emily — of all people — and hoping that Chantal is attacked by monkeys.

Chantal worries that Brad might be doubting her because she was so "emotional" in Vegas. (Translation: I've become the crying girl, and that’s not hot.) Brad wants to see the strong, confident woman he originally fell for.

They zipline on what Brad says is the longest one in the world. But of course they have to do it in the pouring rain, because rain is Brad and Chantal’s thing. Despite the downpour, they have a great time. Brad says, “This is a girl I could definitely hang out with every day for the rest of my life.” They also see a monkey in a tree, probably sent by Michelle.

At night, Chantal puts on Brad’s shirt — and only Brad’s shirt — in a very Risky Business move. Brad says “I think this is the hottest I’ve ever seen you.” He also repeats “Good God,” which is Brad’s way of saying “You are so getting a rose.”

But there’s more than sexual chemistry happening. Brad and Chantal have another of their candid conversations. He doesn’t want her to play games with him. “Not you,” he emphasizes, already singling her out. She swears she’s not playing games, she just had an emotional rough patch.

She whispers, “I’m crazy about you.” But she also talks a lot and cuts him off. Brad says, “It just works with Chantal.” He doesn’t think she’s dramatic at all, and he’s all about second chances. He gave Madison Garton (“fang girl”) a chance, he gave Ashley Hebert a second chance, and now he’s giving Chantal a second chance. No wonder Michelle is still around.

Chantal ends the date by telling the camera, “I did fall in love with Brad tonight.”
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
She invites herself over to talk. Because nothing cheers a guy up from the downer of sending a girl home like a late night visit from crazy Michelle. Maybe Brad will get lucky and she’ll punch him again.

This is actually a bit more like Justin “Rated-R” Rego hobbling up to see Ali Fedotowsky on The Bachelorette Season 6 than Vienna Girardi waking Jake Pavelka up on The Bachelor Season 14. But if you put all of those people together — Justin, Vienna, and Michelle — you get a good group for Bachelor Pad 2. You also get some quality crazies.

Michelle and Brad make out. Then she tells him she agrees that he was right to send Alli home. She starts in on Chantal again, and it’s reminiscent of Ali’s obsession with Vienna, which is not a good thing.

Michelle is playing games with Brad. Why is he into her games, but not Chantal's?

Michelle gives Brad her preferred elimination list: Britt, Jackie, Chantal, Shawntel, Emily, and then Ashley. That leaves herself. But she says it’s up to him.

Brad: “OK. Thanks for that.” Ha!
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
Date card:
“Meet me at the altar.” Chantal notes that this date card does not include the word “love.” She’s good for nice little jabs like that.

Alli is deathly afraid of bugs — especially bugs that crunch when you step on them. Guess what: The bugs that crunch are much more afraid of you crunching them.

But she’s excited about going on her first one-on-one date and coming back with the same glow as all the other girls. (Sorry!)

Brad picks her up on horseback. They ride into a field and then walk across a stream into a cave. The cave is more than 40 million years old. This date is a horror film in action. All it needs is Michelle popping out with her monkeys. Instead, we get spiders and bats — which are almost as scary. Especially to Alli.

The “altar” in question is a natural stair inside the cave. They make a picnic out of it. A soggy, gross picnic. Brad claims to be having an amazing time with her, but can he see her at the true altar at the very end?

When Brad and Alli sit down to eat, they struggle to make small talk about places they’ve visited. To Brad, this is awful. A total deal-breaker. “This conversation with Alli, who is by all accounts an incredible woman, is going nowhere.” He’s bored.

Back at the ranch, Chantal leads a vote on whether Alli is coming back or not. The ladies think she’s going home, because Brad has more of a brother-sister chemistry with her.

Alli and Brad’s dinner table literally starts sinking, which is a definite sign. Alli talks about her last relationship. She couldn’t see herself marrying the guy, even though he was a good man. It sounds like she’s describing Brad’s feelings for her.

Alli feels comfortable around Brad, but it’s clear he does not feel the same. So he uses what she just said and turns it around — he can see himself hanging out with her, but he’s not sure that constitutes falling in love.

He does not give her a rose. DENIED! Three dates, only one rose. Two big snaps for Brad.

Alli cries on the way out, but the spark just wasn’t there — for him, at least.
Credit: Rick Rowell/ABC Television Group ©2010 Disney    
Date card:
"Love springs eternal"

Ladies attending: Jackie, Michelle, Emily, Ashley, Shawntel, Britt

It’s a very soggy date, and it looks buggy. They have to rappel down a waterfall. Jackie is deathly afraid of heights and doesn’t even like Ferris wheels. (She’s lucky ABC didn’t give her the carnival date.)

Michelle is — you’ll never believe it — “pissed” because Brad broke their pact to not rappel with other people. Michelle chooses to express her disappointment by swearing at Brad and punching him. But he knew she would be mad, so they rappel together.

Jackie proves to Brad that she can conquer her fears, just like everyone else on every date on this show. She’s now upset because Brad did not rappel with her.

Next, they go to a hot spring and take off their clothes. Or most of their clothes. Michelle sets the mood by saying something so naughty it gets bleeped out. Brad pulls Jackie aside to tell her how proud he is. She brings up how they didn’t rappel together. “Maybe one day,” Brad says. (Nope!) Brad is a people-pleaser and he needs to stop trying. It’s a lost cause, hon.

Brad chats up Emily, who looks super cute with her side braid and bikini. She’s afraid she’s starting to fall for him, because she tends to sabotage relationships and run away from guys she likes. He’s worried about that, but he can also relate to sabotaging relationships. If Brad can relate to it, it stays.

Cut to Michelle sinking her talons into Brad. She talks about how Chantal is so different from her. Brad claims he doesn’t have a type, he’s just looking for a connection. Michelle wonders aloud if she actually has a connection with him, which annoys Brad. He doesn’t want to take two steps back with her. Stubborn, she goes on about Chantal — and Brad says he doesn’t want to talk about Chantal. This is all about getting him to say that, huh? Oh, Michelle, you’re good.

Since the ladies all waste their time, Brad decides not to hand out a group date rose. DENIED! Love it. LOVE it. He says he doesn’t want to just give a rose to the girl who jumped first or overcame her fears… or exhausted him with mind games.

Assuming Brad can’t make his own decisions, Michelle takes things into her own hands. This is a bad idea. Especially since Brad just made a good choice. For once.

02.8.2011 / 09:47 AM EDT by Gina Carbone
Related: The Bachelor, Recaps

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