Dr. Robert Gordon, better known to the Hollywood set as "Dr. Lips," has a new book coming out entitled Cupid's Bow: The Five Secrets to Sexy, Sultry Lips at Any Age, and, in honor of its release, he took some time to dish on the smackers of some notably fish-lipped housewives.
He says of Kim Zolciak that it's pretty clear she's had some work done, but that her face is built to support some lip enhancements. And by "built," we're pretty sure he means, "surgically sculpted."
"The bad news is that the work done on Kim's lips violates the rules of natural lip proportions," says Dr. Gordon. "Equal volume in upper and lower lips is the most 'unaesthetic' form, and is a sign of aged lips. Kim's lips lack the sculpted form to support this amount of filler, which results in the traditional 'trout pout.'"
In other words, FAIL. But are we really surprised that Kim went overboard, here? She's practically channeling Lindsay Lohan as it is.
Adds Dr. Gordon, "We can only hope that her lips have been augmented with a temporary material like Hyaluronic Acid filler and she can start again with a fresh slate." If not, we're sure she'll just pay someone to un-botch her botched job. Isn't that how it works? Isn't that why God invented skinny lasers? So you can eat pizza and still look bangin'?
Needless to say, Dr. Lips gives Kim's pout a 4 out of 10. Ouch.
Update: Kim has responded to Dr. Gordon's comments, denying that she's ever had her pout tweaked. "Get ur facts straight I have not done my lips!" she tweeted. As far as we know, she doesn't deny the numerous other nips and tucks she's had (although, how could she? All you have to do is look at pics of her from Season 2 and pics of her from Season 3). Why would she lie about her lips? Oh, right, 'cause she's Kim.
Well, Dr. Gordon, maybe Kim's lips just violate the "rules of natural lip proportions" naturally? OK, wait, we're starting to use Phaedra logic...