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The Best Martha Rodgers Quotes of All Time

Last night’s soap-y episode was chock full o’ Martha Rodgers, and we couldn’t be more pleased about it. And though our favorite redhead once said, “Nothing good comes from the Internet,” it seemed like a good time to compile a list of some of her best lines over the last three seasons. We kept in mind a very important request Martha made of Castle early on in the series: “You wanna break it down for those of us who’ve already had a glass of wine?” In that spirit, we’ve used an asterisk after any quote where an alcoholic beverage was involved. No one says it like Martha...except for Cabernet-swigging Martha.

Martha Rodgers on True Love:

"Auditions are like men. There’s another one right around the corner." * (Episode 3.7)

"Ah, young love. There’s banana splits, then splitting assets." (Episode 2.2)

(On Alexis’s long phone call): "Please, I’ve had relationships that didn’t last this long." (Episode 3.9)

Martha Rodgers on Other People:

"You are being utterly irrational. It’s like when I was doing Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and I thought my understudy was trying to poison me." (Episode 3.6)

(On Castle’s ex-wife Meredith): And does she honestly think that she's just gonna show up with a reel of what, According to Jim guest spots? And push some real actor aside, some actor who has dedicated their entire life to the greatest profession in the world? You don’t choose the theater, the theater chooses you." (Episode 1.6)

(Looking at an older gentleman across the bar): "I just got a hit on my graydar. Bingo! No ring. Stand back, kids. Momma's going fishing." * (Episode 1.1)

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Martha Rodgers On Martha Rodgers:

"I called my agent and told her to pass on the play. I said Martha Rodgers does not die in the first act, and she never dies offstage." (Episode 2.8)

Castle: "What’s going on?"
Martha: "Present day Martha is going on. I’ve had filthy stinking rich, I’ve had broke dirt poor. And you know what I want now? Fun. Just fun." (Episode 2.8)

Martha Rodgers on Preferences:

"Frankly, I prefer strip poker, because even when you lose, you win." * (Episode 1.8)

Alexis: "My science teacher says chocolate contains chemicals that are proven to relieve depression."
Martha: "That’s good, but I prefer grape — aged, bottled, and corked. (Episode 2.11)

Martha Rodgers on Life and Survival:

"I’ve always told him, ‘Darling, if you’re going to do something, do it big, or don’t do it at all.'" (Episode 2.6)

"I’m from the Have Your Cake and Eat It Too school of decision making." * (Episode 2.22)

"Mistakes are the building blocks of wisdom. A Martha-ism." * (Episode 1.9)

"Life isn’t safe, especially not in New York. Cranes collapse, air conditioners fall out of the sky. In the end, there are just a few short years and the most you can do is make the most of it before something knocks you down." * (Episode 1.7)

03.22.2011 / 06:51 PM EDT by Lauren Bull
Related: Castle, Top 10 Lists, Martha Rodgers

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