Vanessa Must Go! Five Ways to Kick Her off Gossip Girl
Vanessa (Jessica Szohr) has definitely had her moments over the years — stealing Nate from Jenny; using Chuck for sex; helping Dan raise his fake baby; and refraining from tearing Dan's head from his body when he dumped her and ran to Serena the moment he was infant-free. Is it possible that the character has run her course? She’s not with Dan anymore (their relationship was an enormous bore anyway) — and her appearances as of late have been totally annoying.
Vanessa’s had a good run, but maybe it’s time for her to take her put-upon sighs and her tribal necklaces and get lost. Here are a few suggestions on how to show her the door.
1. Falls down a mine shaft: Why mess around with anything subtler? V isn’t exactly subtle herself. Picture it: She’s walking down the street, being judgmental — when whoops! She falls down a deep, dark mine shaft. True, those are in short supply in New York, but Blair would likely be willing to invest in the construction of one for such a good cause.
2. Gets carried away on the wings of success: Remember that time Vanessa had a summer internship in Haiti? We’re sure she did a great job. They probably want to offer her a prestigious full-time gig. In Haiti. Forever.
3. Fatal print overdose: Frankly, it’s surprising she hasn’t already succumbed to the effects of wearing at least three different eye-gouging fabric prints at any given time. The FDA would probably recommend against that.