Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC Family Channel    
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Secret Life of the American Teenager

Buddhists and Nudists and Lesbians, Oh My! Secret Life Recap of Season 3, Episode 17: “Guess Who’s Not Coming To Dinner”

Secret Life of the American Teenager just keeps getting more and more sextacular as the season progresses! Last night’s episode was full of so many hawt-e Ricky moments that you might have forgotten to pay attention to the actual plot. Luckily, we’ve got your back! Get caught up right here, right now, with Wetpaint’s off-the-hook recap!

Things are a mess over at Ricky’s man-cave. He’s playing daddy to his mommy, and not in a sexy way (though he totally wishes). Nora’s still sleeping over, and Ricky is itching for her to leave — probs because he’s freaked out by the fact that she looks just like his baby mama. Ricky’s Buddhist foster mom Margaret agrees to shelter Nora, and Nora mistakenly thinks she’s a nudist. Hmm... two things:

1. Ricky was raised by Buddhists? Clearly he learned nothing.
2. If he was raised by nudists, it would explain so much.

Nora’s not too enthused about living under Margaret’s rules, specifically the one about no overnight visitors –– boys or girls. What does that mean? ZOMG! Does Nora have a lusty love for the ladies?

Credit: Hulu    

Over at the Juergens,’ Ashley’s super peeved because Amy bails on their trip to see Anne. Ash is sick and tired of living in preggers city, and needs some major help on her bio project. Poor George is way outta his league dealing with his angsty teen daughters — they need their mom! If Anne doesn’t come back soon, it’s only a matter of time before Ash fails out of home school and Amy gets knocked up all over again.

Speaking of preggo’d eggos, Amy has another inappropriate convo with her dad about sexing Ricky. George’s therapy bills are going to be through the roof by the time Amy and Ricky actually get around to some good ol’ fashioned womb fertilization.

Meanwhile in Sausage Land, Ben tells Ricky, Nora and Margaret that he’s going to ask Adrian to marry him. Everyone’s like: EYE ROLL, what else is new? This boy loves proposing almost as much as he loves stuffing sausage with Ricky at the butcher shop. To make the situation even weirder, Nora officially comes out of the closet and everyone’s all, “Awkward!” Did you see Ben and Ricky’s faces? They’re so confused, it’s like they’ve never even heard of lesbians before.

Credit: hulu    

Ben has more important things on his mind than Nora’s bedroom antics — he wants to get his marriage on! But what will Adrian think? She and Grace chat about love, sex, and more sex — and after wistfully remembering the joy of jumping Ricky’s bones, Adrian reveals that she loves Ben. But she doesn’t sound too happy about it.... In fact, it kinda seems like she’s going to throw up all over her baby bump.

Adrian’s not the only Secret Life gal with boy probs. Grace is super worried that Grant only said “I love you” to get into her infected panties. Give the guy a break, Grace! Grant wouldn’t drop the L-word if he didn’t mean it!

Speaking of the possibly diseased, we have some bad news about Ricky. He’s totally scared of lesbians — unless they’re hot college girls. We get that this stud is shocked by his mom’s handcuffed lady lovin,’ but does he really have to judge Nora for her sexual preferences? He even pretends to have the flu to get out of seeing her! Amy tricks Ricky into telling the truth by planting a steamy kiss on him and offering to do the nasty. Please, Ricky could power through sex with the swine flu like it ain’t no thang. With a few nudges from Amy, Ricky mans up and declares his support for Nora and her gal pal. They share a tender bonding moment when Nora finally meets baby John (who remains freakishly silent, per uszh). Tear!

Credit: Randy Holmes/ABC Family Channel    

Now that Ricky and Nora have patched things up, let’s get down to bidnezz: Ben and Adrian’s engagement! Ben asks Ruben and Cindy’s permission to marry their daughter, and they say yes! (Which apparently makes Ben think he can refer to them as “mom” and “dad.” Dude, no.) With his future in-laws’ approval, Ben officially nabs the Guiness World Record for Most Teen Proposals, and pops the question to his baby mama!

The scene: Poppie’s Tacos. The characters: Adrian, wearing a beautiful cobalt blue dress, and Ben in a fancy suit. Ben gets down on one knee and declares his love. Adrian says yes, yes a thousand times yes (or something) and looks genuinely thrilled! We cry, they cry, the baby kicks, we sob, they get ready to eat a crap ton of tacos. Now Adrian just has to work on the whole “not being attracted to him” sitch and they’ll be all set!

Can’t wait for Adrian and Ben’s nuptials? Help Wetpaint plan the real Royal Wedding all next week! Stay tuned!

04.12.2011 / 06:40 PM EDT by Mehera Bonner
Related: Secret Life of the American Teenager, Recaps

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