10. Glad to see you two getting along so well... William (William Baldwin): I am not going anywhere until I know my children will be taken care of in the event that Lily can’t do so herself. Rufus (Matthew Settle): It’s not like she’s dying. No thanks to you.
9. Lily hits American Apparel Lily (Kelly Rutherford): Rufus! We found legwarmers! No, I’m not drunk!
8. Canine-American Royalty Epperly: The Suttons are next. They want to be shot with their English Setters. Blair (Leighton Meester): The Setters are better looking than the Suttons.
7. It’s called depression... Blair: Take that away, Dorota. I can’t eat. I only rang to tell you to call the doctor. I think I have consumption. Dorota (Zuzanna Szadkowski): Consumption not since 19th century. They have vaccine.
6. Dan sniffs Blair Eric (Connor Paolo): Why do you care? Do you like her? Dan (Penn Badgley): What? No. No, no, no. I don’t like her. No, of course not. Not at all. I’m just curious...and she does smell nice.
5. Eric can’t control his bodily response to Dan Dan: You swear not to tell anyone? Or laugh? Eric: I’ll take your secret to my grave. But laughter is an uncontrollable bodily response. Dan: I kissed Blair Waldorf. Eric: (laughs)
4. The contagious van der Woodsens Charlie (Kaylee DeFer): She thinks your world’s toxic. If I’m exposed, I’ll catch it. Serena (Blake Lively): We may not be perfect, but comparing us to the plague is a little extreme. Charlie: So you and your brother didn’t both end up going into a mental institution and your dad didn’t give your mom fake cancer and your mom didn’t send an innocent man to prison just to get you back into private school?
3. When is Lily’s hair not done? CeCe: Darling. You look lovely in your mug shot. It was smart of you to turn yourself in so you could make sure your hair was done.
2. But Labrador kisses are nice! Blair: If Chuck is destined to be my prince, why kiss any more toads? Dorota: Humphrey more Labrador than toad.
1. Do headbands count as hats? Blair: Why does love have to be so hard, Dorota? All I ever wanted was a fairytale. Kate Middleton has it. And I have much shinier hair. Although she does have a better assortment of hats.