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Bones Postmortem: Squintern Vincent Nigel-Murray’s 10 Best Quotes

Damn you, sniper man! Because of Broadsky’s twisted M.O., Vincent Nigel-Murray (Ryan Cartwright), one of our favorite squinterns — and Brennan’s, too! — is dead. Long before he was ready to go. But in true Vincent fashion, the squint known for his adorable British accent and love of trivia, made us laugh up until the end. (Seriously, what was that T-Rex contraption he was sporting?) In honor of the dearly departed, we present to you our top 10 favorite quotes from the only Bones guy, besides Sweets (John Francis Daley), who would ever openly admit that “Put Da Lime in Da Coconut” is their favorite song.

Credit: Michael Becker/FOX © 2011 Fox Broadcasting Co.    

10. Perhaps Cam should employ a squint-sitter? (Season 4, Episode 18, “The Science in the Physicist”)
Cam (Tamara Taylor), to Hodgins and Vincent: What did I tell you?
Hodgins (TJ Thyne): That we aren’t allowed in the same room without supervision.
Cam: Why?
Vincent: Because we were stupid enough to fire a cannon indoors.

9. That’s one way to group people... (Season 4, Episode 25, “The End in the Beginning”)
Vincent: You and I are not in collusion.
Zack Addy (Eric Millegan): Why not?
Vincent: Because you're the type of moron who goes to jail for a murder he didn't commit. And I, uh, am not.

8. When it comes to Vincent, Brennan’s imagination does not run wild (Season 6, Episode 18, “The Truth in the Myth”)
Vincent: I have to apologize for spreading the rumor that you and I were lovers. But it was nothing serious. It was on and off. We were just each other’s sexual playthings. And please remember that I am apologizing for things that I did when I was besotted with drink.
Brennan (Emily Deschanel): [Laughs]
Vincent: Why are you laughing?
Brennan: Because the absurdity of you and me having a sexual relationship of any kind. I mean your friends must be very gullible.
Vincent: Not particularly.
Brennan: Then they must have been inebriated and incapable of rational thought.
Vincent: Stranger things have happened.

7. True story (Season 6, Episode 7, “The Babe in the Bar”)
Cam: You so much as mention leaving the country to my daughter and I will choke you on your own trivia and stuff your lifeless body in a locker. [Leaves]
Vincent: Then again, Georgetown is lovely.

6. He certainly loved his trivia... (Season 5, Episode 13: “The Dentist in the Ditch”)
Hodgins: Okay, next time someone says your brain is a jumble of disconnected chaos, you just send them to me.
Vincent: [Laughs, then pauses] People say that?

5. We prefer our martinis with gin, thankyouverymuch (Season 6, Episode 18, “The Truth in the Myth”)
Cam: Mr. Nigel-Murray, do you need me to take that away from you?
Vincent, sniffing rubbing alcohol: Oh, no no, no don’t be absurd. This is 80 percent ethyl alcohol. I would most likely go blind if I were to drink this. Yeah, yeah, take it away from me.

4. Ba-dum-ching! (Season 6, Episode 15, “The Killer in the Crosshairs”)
Vincent: Please tell me that this meat is not human.
Brennan: No, it’s venison. We found it frozen in the suicide victim’s cabin freezer.
Vincent: I’m confused. Are we investigating a murder or preparing lunch for the Palin family?

3. Hands off, Vincent! (Season 4, Episode 6, “The He in the She”)
Hodgins, after Vincent greets Angela suggestively: Are you familiar with the phrase "that's way too much car for you"?
Vincent: I believe that's one of ours, so yes.
Angela (Michaela Conlin), to Hodgins: I want to show you something.
Vincent: [Suggestively] And I want to show you something.

2. No facts, Ma’am (Season 6, Episode 7, “The Babe in the Bar”)
Hodgins: But we have to melt the chocolate in order to get any information from the bones.
Vincent: Yeah. But first we can cut out these sections until we discover a way to extract the gas trapped in the bubbles.
Cam: Excellent. Do it. Mr. Nigel-Murray if I didn't have any self-control I would kiss you. [Leaves]
Hodgins: …No interesting facts off that?
Vincent: Yeah, yeah. In fact, the, the satisfaction that human beings take from fantasizing is — is directly related. No. I don't. No facts.

1. And he be Vincent (Season 4, Episode 6, “The He in the She”)
Cam: Based on the lack of hemorrhagic tissue, this victim was already dead when cut in half.
Vincent: He's in the water, drowning maybe, or, or is pushed from a boat. When he reaches for the boat, his fingers are smashed, he drowns, and then is cut in half later in some... maritime mishap.
Cam: “He”?
Vincent: Mm-hmm. Triangular pubis, no evidence of a ventral arc. The pelvic bone speaks. It says, “I be male.”

Enjoy one of Vincent’s final moments. Appropriately, it’s spent as a dinosaur. R.I.P., squintern Nigel-Murray.

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05.13.2011 / 11:32 PM EDT by Lisa Costantini
Related: Bones, Top 10 Lists

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