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“You Sing and Dance Like a Zombie Who Has to Poop” and More Quotes From Glee’s “Funeral”

The newest episode of Glee did not disappoint, especially with Jesse St. James firing off insults as the new glee club consultant! If we could, we'd totally give the Glee writers a hug because they were so on point. Here are our picks for the top 10 quotes from Season 2, Episode 21, “Funeral.”

Credit: Beth Dubber/FOX    
10. Everything Sue says is insulting, even when it’s unintentional
[to Kurt and Finn] I’m allergic to pansies, and I don’t mean that as a swipe at either of you.

9. Becky learned from the master!
I want to be in glee club.
Schue: Well, that’s great, Becky. Can you sing?
Becky: Not really. But neither can most of your kids in glee club.

8. Only Brittany...
Jesse: Well, I can’t practice reality-show judging without a camera. It’s like practicing skiing without skis.
Brittany: I’ve totally done that.

7. This is as maternal as Sue gets
Honey Badger, I am lactating with rage.

6. Talk about going the extra mile to win
Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline when someone dies during a number? They use them as a prop, like Weekend at Bernie’s.

5. Note to self: Do not hire Santana as vocal coach
I wish I could sound like you do, Santana. How do you get that raspiness?
Santana: So nice. I smoke cigars.

4. We’re gonna miss the hair jokes
Oh, William — I wouldn’t dare lean on you. There’s so much grease in your hair, I’d probably slide right off.

3. Brittany always finds the most practical solution
I thought we were in it to win the whole damn thing. And there’s only one way we can do that.
Brittany: Poison darts?

2. Sue’s an equal opportunity hater
I do this thing where I sort of alternate which one of those kids I hate the most — right now, it’s the dancing Asian.

1. Zombies have feelings, too
[to Finn] You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
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05.19.2011 / 04:08 AM EDT by Ryan Gajewski
Related: Glee, Top 10 Lists

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