Future Housewife of the Week: 16-Year-Old Bride Courtney Alexis Stodden
Like many a sassy lass before her, 16-year-old Courtney Alexis Stodden has hitched her wagon to the star that is the much-older man. The beauty queen/country singer/minor married Lost actor Doug Hutchison this week, igniting a shizz storm. The Washington teen tied the knot with the 51 year old with her parents’ blessing (and legal consent, of course). Why do we think this young go-getter will fit in with the RHoBH ladies? Follow us down the rabbit hole.*
*Disclaimer: This isn’t much information about Mrs. Hutchison, so we’re basing everything off a YouTube video of her, which you can find below.
Chanteuse: While most Housewives start off as housewives and then delve into the murky world of celeb singers, Courtney’s already got her foot in the country music door. Okay, so her jam, “Don’t Put It On Me,” doesn’t exactly scream boot-scootin’ boogie, but it at least ranks up there with “Tardy to the Party” and “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” right?
The finer things: As we know from Courtney’s video, she likes shoppin’ (and poppin’) and mutha effin’ boats, y’all. Once she gets to Beverly Hills (and out of that swamp where the video appears to have been filmed), she’ll be introduced to jewelry made from things other than chains and sea crafts that seat more than two. We’re pretty sure her taste in glasswear will remain the same, because that ginormous plastic cup will be awesome for margaritas when she’s of age.
Puppy love: We’re like 99% sure Court’s going to start a trend: Dye your pooch’s ears to match your pink bathing suit. While dear Giggy should probably refrain (we don’t want anything to damage his remaining fur), we’re sure some of the other Beverly Hills dogs could get in on the pink-eared action. She’ll need to get either a very big bag or a smaller dog if she wants to lug the pup to red carpet events, though.
Proud parents: Both The Real Housewives of Miami and New Jersey have colorful characters from the older generation, which is something RHoBH unfortunately lacks. Not anymore! Courtney has two parents who not only married her off to a man who’s older than they are (yes, really), but her dad made this comment: “Every father can only pray to have such a man behind their daughter.” Yikes.
Clearly, Courtney Alexis Stodden make a fresh-faced addition to The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.