If you haven't watched that terriblewonderful live performance of Michaele Salahi, White House Party Crasher and RHDC cast member, “singing” her single "Bump It" on a Miami morning show, you have yet to discover the true meaning of the word awkward. Awkward back-up dancers, awkward Michaele dancing, awkward rapper. Need we expound? Okay, good.
But worse than the performance is the god-awful song itself. We thought Kim Zolciak was the queen of horrendous lyrics (Miss "Click them keys in Google"), but, as it turns out, Michaele might actually give her a run for her money.
The opening lyric of "Bump It" is possibly the most memorable: "Like I'm so hot and like you're so not." Noted, Michaele. Thanks.
She later instructs us to "let the techno rock" which seems counter-intuitive, but, hey, we're not music producers.
Finally, she implores listeners in the hook, "Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?/Will someone please hurry up and dance with me?/Because I'm alone on the dance floor." Um, Barack? Tareq? Peter Thomas? Anyone? Homegirl needs a dance partner. Just watch out for her wackadoo hairography. Her weave might strangle you, and her bony shoulders could definitely cut a bitch if you let her get too close.