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The Bachelorette

Bachelorette Jillian Harris on What REALLY Went Wrong With Ed Swiderski

A lot went into the breakup of Season 5 Bachelorette couple Jillian Harris and her Chosen One Ed Swiderski. But both have remained pretty mum about the details since it happened last summer. Also, Jilly and Ed took a backseat in the blogosphere since they called it quits right around the same time Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi had their televised trainwreck breakup.

But now, Jillian has been answering fan questions on interior design, style, and love through her own website. Today she gave a candid answer about what went wrong with Ed, and how future couples (Bachelor and non-Bachelor) can avoid the same mistakes:

‘Do you have any advice for women in a relationship (or married) based on what you've learned from your break up with Ed and why it didn't work out?’ –Judy

Jillian: Thank you for this question Judy. I haven't opened up much since my breakup with Ed and I’ve really avoided talking to the media about it but today I want to be perfectly candid and give you guys a little background. I think everyone knows that Ed and I have tried very hard to remain friends but rest assured this has not been easy. Our situation was very different than most of you, as we were stuck right in the middle of a storm we had no experience with and we really let it mess with us.

For us (as with many breakups I’m sure) there were many reasons why it didn’t work. We spent every waking moment with each other for a year, and as much fun as we had, after a year we were both pretty overwhelmed and ‘over’ the whole situation. We didn’t have any breathing room in the relationship, which is really important. Overall though, I would say that the experience of being engaged so quickly and publicly was the biggest factor in our breakup. People say we couldn’t actually have been in love, and I don’t think that was the case – our hearts were in love but we didn’t give ourselves enough time to ease into the relationship. So ladies and gentlemen no matter how crazy you are about someone take your damn time!

Certainly the attention didn’t help us much either. I admit all the attention random girls gave Ed was hard on me. He loved the attention and that isn't easy on a relationship that is supposed to be so serious, yet is still so fresh. The more insecure and upset I became, the more he loved the attention and it became a really slippery slope. I lost trust in him and in the end we both really lost interest in making it work. Was it avoidable? Who knows, but I am a firm believer that what's meant to be will be.

Well said, Jilly! Read on for more of her lessons from finding and losing love here.


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