Do you love Secret Life of the American Teenager unconditionally? So do we! But sometimes we scratch our heads and go: “What the whaaaa?”
If you ended the summer finale filled with Secret Life joy, but also some mild confusion about certain teens and their sexy antics, you’re in luck! We’ve rounded up the biggest WTF moments from Season 4, Episode 13, “And Circumstance.”
1. Adrian glosses her lips! We know Adrian loves makeup, but never in our nine lives have we seen a girl apply that much lip gloss. And in such a deranged “I’m about to go crazy and murder someone” way. At this point we think she has two, maybe three personalities living under that graduation hat: 1) Sexy Adrian; 2) Sad Adrian; 3) Bat-sh*t crazy Adrian.
2. Grant is back? Oh, hey Grant. Long time no see. Did the Secret Life writers really think they could get away with this boy pretending he’s been on campus this entire time? Grant’s explanation was, “I’ve been busy with stuff” (or something equally vague), so we’re going to assume he was in rehab getting over his addiction to Cookies.
3. Welcome to Flashback City! We don’t know what’s in Grant High’s water fountains, but several of our Secret Lifers suffered from delusions during the finale. Either that, or this was Secret Life’s attempt at creating a flashback episode. Puh-leez, everyone knows every good flashback involves sepia tone and grainy filters — although we did appreciate the shout-out to Ricky pre-hair coif.
4. Jack is popular? A random dude who we assume is the principal of Grant High introduced Jack as the most popular guy in high school. Uhm, we beg to differ. First of all, Jack doesn’t socialize with anyone other than Grace, Tom, Grace’s mom, Madison, and sometimes Ricky. Out of those five peeps, Grace, Madison, and Ricky actively dislike Jack, Grace’s mom tolerates him, and Tom deigns to hang out with him. Furthermore, we’ve never seen Jack go to a movie or be otherwise social, and we’re pretty sure the last deep conversation he had was with an empty locker.
5. Grant High is the smallest school ever! So, apparently Grant High is a public school, which means it should have a graduating class of several hundred, if not several thousand. As far as we can tell, there were about 40 kids up on stage getting their diplomas, which means that either most of the class flunked out, or they couldn’t be bothered to sit through Ricky’s graduation sob-fest. Which leads us to …
6. Did Ricky just deliver the most depression graduation speech ever? Ricky’s graduation speech was like the group therapy session we never wanted. You’re in for a treat, Secret Lifers! We’ve picked out the best lines to get you inspired: 1) “My dad is in prison … he was, and is, a horrible person.” 2) “I wanna thank some of you for changing my world when it was a dark place to live.” 3) “I wanna thank my birth mother for surviving my dad’s abuse.” Wow. … um … no words.