13 Better Branding Terms for the ANTM Cycle 17 All-Stars
Last night onAmerica’s Next Top ModelCycle 17, Episode 2, the modelstants were assigned branding terms to describe their personal “brands.” While some of the girls had accurate brands, most of the girls were assigned terms that were obscure and/or bizzare.
Because we never miss a chance to play Tyra, we decided to make a list of some more accurate branding terms to describe our favorite All-Stars. Check out our suggestions below.
Bianca: Aggressive. Sure, “candid” was just ANTM’s way of saying Bianca is an unpredictable loudmouth, but one of her most recognizable traits is her inability to ever be the passive girl in the house. We have to admit, we love us some aggressive Bianca drama.
Sheena: Vivacious. Sorry Tyra, but we don’t really get the “unexpected” title for Sheena, or how you could ever consider that a brand. One word that comes to our minds when we think about Sheena is vivacious — she’s fierce! Also, she looks great in a jumpsuit.
Bre: Bridesmaid. Poor Bre, always a bridesmaid and never the bride. “Girlfriend” Bre is always making friends with the more attention-grabbing members of the house (ahem: Bianca) so she never really has a chance to shine on her own. We want to see the independent Bre!
Allison: Creepy. We mean “creepy” in the best way possible. Allison is internet-famous for being “the creepy girl” in a meme that was passed around online meme factory, 4chan. Don’t get us wrong, Allison is a doll (sometimes literally) but her Gothic Lolita-meets-doe-eyed lamb gives her innocent good looks an interesting creepy feel.
Shannon: Chaste. Let’s face it, Shannon is really known for only one thing: Being chaste. Maybe that translates to “honest” according to the ANTM powers that be, but we will still always think of Shannon as the modest little virgin.
Camille: Diva. What we love about Camille is that she let’s her diva flag fly high, so why not embrace it in her branding term? Hey, it worked for Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Aretha Franklin.
Dominique: Eyebrows. We don’t mean to play favorites, but Dominique is one of our all-time favorites. One of the big reasons we love Dominique is those big, loud, and proud eyebrows she has perched on her forehead. These are the same ‘brows that were called “not fresh” by Italian fashion designers back in her original season!
Isis: Survivor. No one can deny that Isis is a true survivor. She’s overcome dealing with her gender on national TV and is one of the most inspirational modelstants in ANTM history.
Lisa: Cray-cray. Listen, all of the ANTM girls are a little bit crazy, but Lisa is truly cray-cray. She’s fun, loud, spontaneous, and is staunchly against carbs (see: her bun-less hot dog).
Laura: Cutie. Goodness, Laura is just the cutest little down-home gal who has ever walked the ANTM stage! Not even Tyra is immune to Laura’s sweetie pie demeanor.
Kayla: Lesbian. Even Kayla said she preferred to be known for her lesbian lifestyle than “free,” as the ANTM branding expert labeled her. We don’t care if being gay is “so 5 years ago” (branding expert’s words, not ours) we think Kayla should embrace her in-your-face lesbianism.
Angelea: Sassy While Martin’s “cheap shoes” comment was kind of hilarious, it’s kind of true that when we think of Angelea we don’t really think of class, we think of sass. Angelea is sass from head to toe and that’s what makes her so fun to watch! We would definitely troll the aisles of DSW with her any day.
Alexandria: Polarity. Hey, Tyra was right! Polarizing ability aside, Is it just us or did Alexandria personality have a bit more...polarity on last night’s episode? Maybe she was just trying really hard to prove to everyone that she isn’t a bitch.