Presenting, the many phases of Alexandria’s derkitude:
1. Sad drek: Alexandria spent most of the episode in a shame-spiral, in which she wore her hair in an ‘80s up-do and talked about stabbing herself with imaginary knives. She also referenced “her fans” a lot, which proves that she’s suffering from hallucinations.
2. Spacey drek: We’re pretty sure Alexandria heard the term “Ty-over” and went into a self-induced coma. She seemed completely strung out during her entire conversation with Ashlee Simpson. Then again, Ash does have that effect on people.
3. Happy drek: Alexandria’s enthusiasm for her haircut went from loud n’ proud to certifiable as she filled the makeover room with her shrieks of glee and waved around a lock of her hair in ecstasy. Even Bianca was like, “Oh girl, no.”
4. Happy-sad drek: Alexandria was so overwhelmed by her gorgeous new hair that she started bawling hysterically into her hands in celebration. At this point even the camera man had cause for alarm and cut away before we could see her head spin.