They Kiss, We Tell! Every Hookup in Glee History — Part 2
Now that you’ve had time to cool off a bit since our last Glee hookup history rundown, it’s time to finish what we started. From inappropriate workplace relations to a momentary change in sexual orientation, we pay homage to all of the flirtations and frisky encounters that steamed up (more or less — some much less) our TV screens.
When: Since the beginning of Season 2 Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 (although their hotness would be off-the-charts if Mike spent more episodes with his shirt off) Chance of Happening Again: 100% Notes: Who would have guessed that Tina's post-Artie rebound would blossom into McKinley’s most stable couple? (That is, until now?)
When: Season 1, Episode 3: “Acafellas” Hotness Rating: 5 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 30% Notes: Reason against these two getting together: They clearly aren’t right for each other. Reason for them getting together: Sometimes wrong feels so right — right, Quinn?
Hookup: Puckand Brittany When: At some point before Puck slept with Quinn in Season 1 Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 10% Notes: You know how some people worry about overthinking a relationship? Not a concern for these two.
Hookup: Puck and Brittany...and Santana! When: In Season 2, Episode 17: “A Night of Neglect” when Puck took Artie to Breadstix on a double-date with Santana and Brittany to help him win Brittany's heart. Unfortunately, Artie’s unwillingness to dine-and-dash is Puck’s gain when he leaves with both girls... Hotness Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: less than 10% Notes: Hopefully leaving Puck out of the equation will be the answer to a long-lasting Brittana.
Hookup: Sam and Mercedes When: They dance at prom and are officially dating by the Season 2 finale: “New York” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 0.001% Notes: There are many things in life that end before we want them to, and Samcedes was one of them. Lucky for Mercedes, her (emotional) dry spell won’t last long, which brings us to...
When: Apparently, the summer prior to Season 3, Episode 1: “The Purple Piano Project” Hotness Rating: 3 out of 5 (mainly because we love how supportive this dude is, from what we know of him) Chance of Happening Again: 98% Notes: We’re soon to be getting plenty more adorable moments between these two in the near future, provided the actor playing Shane doesn’t pull a Chord Overstreet and take his talents to a competing network.
Hookup: Rachel and Blaine(yes, that Blaine) When: Season 2, Episode 14: “Blame It on the Alcohol” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 (which was just hot enough for Blaine to give it a second chance) Chance of Happening Again: 0.000001% — and maybe a few more zeroes in there for good measure. (In other words, not even the amount of alcohol consumed by the average fan at a European soccer game would be enough to make history repeat itself.)
Notes: Talk about odd! Hopefully, the only thing Kurt and Rachel will be competing over from now on will be glee club solos.
Hookup:Burt (Kurt’s Dad) and Carole (Finn’s mom) When: Begins in Season 1, Episode 16: “Home” Hotness Rating: Uh, gross! That’s somebody’s mom and dad. Chance of Happening Again: 100% Notes: Funny how Finn's performance for Kurt was the biggest tear-jerker at Burt and Carole's wedding in Season 2's "Furt."
Hookup: Rachel and Jesse (Jonathan Groff)
When: Season 1, Episode 14: “Hell-O” Hotness Rating: 4 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 10%. If it wasn’t gonna happen last season, we don’t see it happening anytime soon. Notes: We’re surprised there was a room big enough to fit both Rachel and Jesse's egos of these two at the same time.
Hookup: Sue and Bryan Ryan (Neil Patrick Harris)When: Season 1, Episode 19: “Dream On” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 (But scariness rating? 5 out of 5!) Chance of Happening Again: 4% (Thanks a lot, CBS and the long shooting schedule of a certain Monday night sitcom!) Notes: We miss you, NPH! When you’re not busy conquering the world, maybe you could give us a call sometime?
Hookup: Sue and Rod the Anchorman When: Season 1, Episode 8: “Mash-Up” Hotness Rating: 1 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: Well, Rod does seem pretty horny, so let’s call it 12%. Notes: This at least showed that Sue was capable of letting her guard down. But typically, ranking Sue’s most romantic relationships is like ranking Dick Cheney’s most genuine smiles.
Hookup: Sue and Principal Figgins
When: Season 1, Episode 14: “Hell-O” Hotness Rating: Uh, gross! That’s somebody’s... Just gross! Chance of Happening Again: Depends on how easy it is for Sue to get her hands on some chloroform. Notes: As always, there’s the right way to handle a difficult situation with your boss, and then there’s Sue’s way.
Hookup: Emma and Dr. Carl (John Stamos) When: Season 2 Hotness Rating: 1 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 3% (In other words, about as likely as a Full House movie becoming a huge box-office hit.) Notes: How can Glee cast someone as effortlessly sexy as Stamos, and then use him in a relationship as frigid as this one? He got more action from Bob Saget than he did from Emma . That’s just wrong.
Hookup: Terri and Will Schuester
When: They officially split in Season 1 Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 10% Notes: May this be a lesson to you: If you ever decide to fake a pregnancy and then secretly adopt a baby from your husband’s student, your relationship just might have hit a rough patch. Still, the Terri and Will era was fun (to watch) while it lasted.
When: Season 1, Episode 15: “Sexy” Hotness Rating: 5 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 15% Notes: We may prefer Wemma to Wolly, but there’s no denying that comparing the hotness of those two relationships is like comparing a campfire to Mt. Vesuvius. (Emma, this is your time to make a comeback before Holly decides to come back!)
Hookup: Schue and Shelby (Rachel’s mom, Idina Menzel)
When: Season 1, Episode 14: “Hell-O” Hotness Rating: 2 out of 5 Chance of Happening Again: 25% Notes: There’s nothing quite as hot as sleeping with the enemy. (Okay, in this case it was “making out on the couch with the enemy,” but we’re pretty sure Shelby is the MILF of Schue’s dreams.
Hookup: Schue and Emma
When: Season 1, Episode 13: “Sectionals” and at the start of Season 3 Hotness Rating: It varies wildly, but typically it stays at about a 1.5 out of 5. Chance of Happening Again: 100% (although as to when their relationship gets out of peck-ville, we’ll never know) Notes: These two really only heat up when Emma’s with someone else. We’re hoping that’ll change in Season 3. And Emma (finally) discovering what it feels like to be turned on is a step in the right direction.