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Bones

Bones Season 7 Saucy Premiere Spoiler Roundup: Everything We Know So Far

Judging by the wellspring of Bones chattering, it’s clear that Fox has released the beginning of Season 7 to the fourth estate! Spoiler-hungry Bones-ios will have a lot of outlets to choose from, but it’s our intention to do the hard work for you (because there’s nothing we love better than making life easier for our readers!).

If you’re looking to make a game out of it, Jim Halterman has you covered. Halterman puts up eleven possible spoilers and invites readers to guess the real ones. (A spoiler for the spoilers: True Bones fans will have no problem parsing through the fakes.)

But let’s get right down the nitty-gritty: The much-anticipated OFFICIAL coupling of Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan (Emily Deschanel). Give Me My Remote took salivating fans’ questions on the matter, praising the partners’ dynamic as a couple, which allegedly remains refreshingly familiar. Just don’t expect any marriage talk off the bat.

A topic of discussion that isn’t off limits in the premiere? S-E-X. TV Line revealed this eye-popping quotation from Brennan to Booth: “I can always depend on you to assist when needed...sexually.” Buddy TV assures “‘shippers” that “there is most definitely affection on display,” he says, and we “need wait no longer than B&B’s first scene together to get a playful kiss.”

And while it be several eps before we meet Baby Bones #2, episode number one will introudce us to Hodgins (TJ Thyne) and Angela (Michaela Conlin)’s “freaking adorable” baby boy. Apparently, not everyone is feeling the baby bliss, as Cam (Tamara Taylor) will enact a “professional rule the new mother [Angela] and mother-to-be [Bones] may have some difficulty following,” BuddyTV reports. What? No Baby Bjorn banter in the lab? If so, we’re totally with her.

For those of us interested in crime and justice part of the show (yeah, remember that?), there’s sadly not much spoiler fodder other than Buddy TV’s decency to promise “among the most nauseating” human remains “in the show’s history.” (How is that even possible?)

November 3 is feeling less and less far away now, right?

Sources: Jim Halterman, Give Me My Remote, Buddy TV, TV Line

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