Do you really expect us to believe that it was His Royal Snooze — and not Chuck — who knocked up Blair? Not after that snatch-and-stash move B made with the paternity test results just before skipping off for souffle with her betrothed.
Sure, that would be a clean-and-tidy way to wrap up this Season 5 fairy tale — but this is Gossip Girl, y’all. The land of drunken under-aged sex on bar tops — where women who put innocent men in jail get sentenced to (pent)house arrest with unlimited access to online shopping (the horror).
So, excuse us if we don’t believe womanizer Chuck’s sudden puppy-cuddling turn at the end of “The Jewel of Denial” is simply for our viewing pleasure. He may be mourning the Bass-Waldorf baby that never was — but we’re not buying the (alleged) royal spawn any Baby Bjorns just yet.
‘Cuz in the competition of Meant-to-Be TV couples, Chuck and Blair seasons-long foxtrot of love is definitely Mirror Ball trophy-worthy. (Sorry, Dancing With the Stars was also on Monday.)