The David’s Underwhelming Watermelon and More WTF Moments From Jersey Shore Season 4, Episode 12
It took until the very end of the macaroni rascals' six-week sojourn in Italy for them to finally lay their beady little eyes on some art, but they did it, and finally confirmed the world's worst fears about American tourists. Let's take a look back at all the moments from the season finale that we couldn't help but gape at and ask ourselves, "WTF?!"
5. The luggage chute. The macaroni rascals may not be the sharpest tacks, but they really did devise an ingenious way to carry all their luggage down the two flights of stairs to the street — by making a chute with the mattresses! Actually, we're pretty sure Deena and Snooki attempted to mattress-surf down the stairs once in Seaside, but it definitely never worked this well. The luggage slid effortlessly down the stairs with minimal schlepping, and, of course, the girls attempted to slide down the stairs too, with much face-planting as a consequence, which is always fun for us to watch.
4. The five-minute smush. Hey, we've all been there. We understand the finer points of quickies, really, we do. The only reason Sammi and Ronnie's brief encounter was so comical was the pomp and circumstance that went into the preparation. Gathering linens, triumphantly marching into the smush room... Come on, guys. Put a scrunchie on the door knob and have a quickie in the twin beds. May we suggest shower sex? Ew, are we really giving SamRon sex advice? GROSS.
3. Deena and Snooki find the only girl drunker than them in all of Italy. If you thought the Meatballs were the hottest messes in Florence, Italy, you would be incorrect. One girl gave these two a run for their money when Snooks and Deena went off clubbing on their own one night. This new Meatball cooka-flashed while dancing, and had trouble focusing on stationary objects. At one point, Deena accidentally threw her purse at this girl's crotch and was supremely grossed out for the rest of the night. Snooki effectively wiped the clutch off on the girl's sleeve while Deena lamented, "She f*cked my clutch!" But, really, girls, who are you to make fun of drunk idiots?
2. Analyzing The David's peen. As the Jersey girls will tell you, The David's got a great ass, but, sadly, leaves something to be desired in the watermelon department. Take pride, Vinny. Your Great White Moby Dick owns even a marble masterpiece's.
1. Babies with wings. It was almost painful to watch poor Snooki's mind blown by Bernardo the tour guide, who was forced to patiently explain to her that the cherubs of Renaissance art, the "babies with wings," as Snooki so observantly called them, weren't real. Really, Snooki?