Those of you who haven't yet recovered from the V-card-losing antics on Season 3, Episode 5 may find this article to be overwhelming. But, there is life after Glee's "first time," and the proverbial show must go on.
In this week's all-new sixth episode, entitled "Mash Off," we'll see a good old-fashioned mash-up off between the New Directions and Shelby Corcoran's (Idina Menzel) rival group, tragically named The Troubletones. Finn (Cory Monteith) not only offers up the big solo to Rory (Damian McGinty) in order to prep him for competition, but also takes it upon himself to teach the newbie the fine art of trash-talking. First lesson: The Troubletones. Clearly, Santana (Naya Rivera) doesn't take that noise lying down and she calls for a rumble after school: dodgeball style.
The game play is Troubletones vs. New Directions, and the final two players left standing are Santana and Finn. Cue a mash up performance of Blondie’s "One Way or Another" and Pat Benatar’s "Hit Me With Your Best Shot." Santana wins, but takes a cheap shot to Rory's face, which causes a nose bleed. Finn angry. Finn smash. Seriously, though, Santana, pick on someone your own size!
The race for class president is in full swing, and, as we expected, it isn't a three-way dork-off between Rachel (Lea Michele), Kurt (Chris Colfer), and Brittany (Heather Morris). McKinley High hockey player Rick "The Stick" Nelson (complete with mullet) joins the race to mix it up. His major campaign platform? Teachers will have to give students the answers. Oh, high school politics...
Meanwhile, in the grown-up race for Congress, Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) tries to kick off a smear campaign against Burt Hummel (Mike O'Malley), alleging that he's married to a donkey (seriously). In trying to fight back, Mr. Schue (Matthew Morrison) discovers that she played the lead in Oklahoma! as a high schooler, a performance shot down by her school newspaper, dashing her dreams of becoming a star, hence her general disdain for the arts. Sue reveals her one-time love of performing, but wants to shut down glee clubs to relieve students of the burden of rejection budding stars face. Looks like perhaps we'll get to see Sue's gooey insides this ep.
Puck (Mark Salling) is predictably and skeevily in love with Shelby after their statutory lip-lock in Episode 4, which leads to a dream sequence rendition of "Hot for Teacher" when Miss Corcoran subs his geometry class.
Damian's fellow Glee Project winner Lindsay Pearce also reprises her role of Harmony in this episode, and comes to McKinley to scare Rachel out of applying to NYADA. Can you say diva-off?
Phew! Tons of good stuff coming up, so stay tuned!