9. So. Many. Layers. Blaine [to Kurt]: And besides, tearing off all of your clothes is sort of a tall order.
8. A “teenage dream” to be exact Sebastian,new Warbler: I was like, “I don’t know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he’s sex on a stick and sings like a dream.”
7. Who turns down free Applebee’s? Cooter, football recruiter [about Beiste]: Last week, I told her I had a gift certificate for Applebee’s — she told me fancy restaurants make her nervous.
6. And he’s smarter than the average football player Karofsky: I’m what they call a “bear cub.” Kurt: Because you look like Yogi?
5. Extraterrestrial life forms have needs, too. Brittany: I lost my virginity at cheer leading camp. He just climbed into my tent. Alien invasion.
4. Hmm, Taylor Lautner vs. Darren Criss — tough call! Kurt [to Blaine, on his bucket list]: And Number 5, alright, this one’s really embarrassing, I wrote this before I met you: “Have relations on a dewy meadow of lilac with Taylor Lautner before he gets fat.”
3. Brittany doesn’t sweat the small stuff Artie: I remember my first time with Brittany — the excitement, the way it made me feel like a man... even though she called me the wrong name like four times, during and after.
2. Not exactly a foolproof strategy Puck: As for the condoms — no idea, never used ‘em. It’s worked out for me about 99% of the time.
1. Ahh, the stuff that romance novels are made of Santana [to Rachel, on sleeping with Finn]: It was like being smothered by a sweaty, out-of-breath sack of potatoes that someone soaked in body spray.