Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jionni LaValle captured the hearts of America when they took up together earlier this year, and now our hearts must reportedly make room for sorrow. Somewhere seraphim and cherubim pause in their heavenly labors to weep.
The sad quotes from the In Touch insider: “Snooki broke up with [Jionni] because she is looking better than ever and wants to date someone famous.”
Can that be true? Can the enemy of love be... vanity? Cupid is a snarling, fanged monster, and we hate him.
We don't know what they're going to do next, but what can YOU do?
- Call the pizzeria and ask them to make a pepperoni frowny face on your large pie. - Get the biggest crowbar you can, break into the tissue factory and take all the tissues for yourself, you're going to need them. - Go crazy on Facebook, like, put up all those status updates you've been saving up for a rainy day, because, honey, it's pouring.
Where can we find hope? Is there hope to find? Perhaps there is, and from the most unlikely of sources....Snooki's Twitter page! About the In Touch article, a fan tweets:
@brunanessif: @Sn00k In Touch is saying you and Jionni broke up because you wanna date someone famous. Is it true?"