Glee Season 3, Episode 7 “I Kissed a Girl” Recap: Rachel Gets Suspended!
We’ve probably said it before but we’ll say it again: Tonight’s Glee episode was our favorite of the season! With so many surprises and twists — Puck’s good at math? — we’ll even go so far as to say that tonight’s episode was better than a booty call with David Boreanaz! (Okay, so maybe that’s going a little too far, but you get our point.)
The crazy-good episode, “I Kissed a Girl,” picks up where the last one left off, with Santana facing the music (wordplay, anyone?) for that high-five that she, uh, planted on Finn’s face. Principal Figgins wants her gone for two weeks until Finn claims it was just a stage slap. So Finn wants us to believe he was just pretending to get hit? (We all saw you in Rocky Horror, Finn — you’re not that good of an actor.)
Santana doesn’t get why Finn is playing martyr, but Finn wants the Troubletones to join New Directions for “Lady Music Week.” Frankly, we’re impressed that Finn is trying to unite the singers rather than get some well-deserved justice for that slap. And come to think of it, doesn’t “well-deserved justice” sound like a good subtitle for an action movie? (We can picture someone saying, “Hey, have you seen Mission Impossible 4: Well-Deserved Justice yet?”)
This is election week for Sue and Kurt, and both are freaking out about being way behind in the polls. (Granted, Sue is pretty much always freaking out, so this might not exactly be news.) Kurt tells Rachel that he’s considering stuffing the ballot to get elected class president and improve his chances of getting into NYADA, while Sue wants to appeal to voters by getting photographed on a date. (Who is Sue’s campaign manager — Herman Cain?)
To Beiste’s shock, Sue has decided to date Cooter, of all people, and Beiste spots them sitting on the same side of the booth. (Is it just us, or is sitting on the same side of a booth pretty much the lamest thing ever?) Cooter claims that he likes Beiste but that she hasn’t given him a clear enough sign, so he’s also developed feelings for Sue. Frankly, we can’t believe that psychotic Sue and kindly Beiste would appeal to the same guy. That’s like saying you can’t decide if your favorite movie is Citizen Kane or Weekend at Bernie’s II.
It’s election day at McKinley, and Kurt has accepted his fate as the presumed loser, just as Kris Humphries has probably accepted his fate as forever being labeled as “That One Guy Who Used To Be Married To That One Reality-TV Star.” We see that several New Directions members are voting for him, but can it be enough? (Why are we asking you? We already know the answer!)
Once the votes have been counted, Kurt gets called into Figgins’ office. Suspicions have been raised because Kurt has won the election by the kind of margin that Saddam Hussein used to win elections by, so Figgins is threatening to suspend him. Rachel then tells Finn that she’s the one who stuffed the ballot, since she couldn’t stand the thought of being at NYADA without her “best gay.”
Puck — a.k.a. McKinley’s own Stephen Hawking (meaning that he’s good at math, not that he has a cool, futuristic-sounding voice) — gets an emergency call from Shelby that Beth has cut her lip. Puck demands action from the doctor, which makes Shelby weak in the knees, and whaddya know? They’re finally knockin’ boots. Honestly, we’re surprised anyone could resist hopping into bed with Puck for even this long.
As for Santana, she’s come out to her parents, but her abuela — yes, the one who comes up with charming nicknames like “Garbage Face” — is another story. Santana explains to her grandma that she like girls, and then her grandma kicks her out of the house, saying that secrets should stay hidden. (Relive that emotional scene here.)
Puck is angry that Shelby doesn’t want a relationship (and yes, we realize how ridiculous it is to write that Puck of all people wants a relationship), so he takes Quinn up on her offer to spend the night. And thus we continue to see the softer side of Puck that we’re loving so much. Heck, he even makes Quinn come off as — dare we say — slightly un-bitchy.
This means that Quinn, who had at first wanted Puck to impregnate her, is now happy just snuggling with him. However, we’re then led to believe that Puck tells her about his tryst with Ms. Foxy Sub, and it’s obviously just a matter of time before Quinn uses that nugget of info to get Shelby fired.
By the end of the episode, we learn that Burt Hummel has indeed defeated Sue in their congressional race, and Brittany (with her “Pixy Stix for all” platform) has beaten Kurt. And then Rachel announces to the club that she was the one to stuff the ballot. This has earned her a one-week suspension and a blemish on her permanent record, plus — gasp! — she won’t be allowed to attend Sectionals. We’re just glad we weren’t in the room with Rachel when she received that sentence.
So why was this our favorite episode in a long time? For starters, the song performances were killer across the board. Perhaps we had been suffering from show tune-overload in recent weeks, so this episode had the right blend of old and new chart-toppers. “Jolene” by Beiste was touching and perfectly chosen, while Finn pretty much blew us away with that incredibly moving, slowed-down “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.” (Our only quibble: Why so little onscreen time for Damian McGinty's Rory yet again?)
Plus, the episode had the original New Directions members back to being friendly again. That hug between Finn and Santana after his song basically had us in tears for a year. And the episode was hilarious, too, with Sue giving us our favorite moment of the episode as she recounted her various celeb dalliances (Dan Quayle??) from her black book. Get down with your bad self, Sue.
All in all, this was an episode that we can’t wait to rewatch (and rewatch!). But first, we think we’ll unwind with a DVD. Anyone for Weekend at Bernie’s? What — you didn’t think we were the Citizen Kane type, did ya?)