Turns out, Kendall turning the big 1-6 has the whole family waxing sentimental about their own 16th birthdays. Perhaps the best sweet 16 story comes from Khloe, who says on her sweet 16, a brand new Mercedes was delivered to driveway, but when she called her mom Kris Jenner to thank her for the pimped out ride, she found out it was actually a present Kris bought for herself. Wah wah. Guess some things never change.
But enough about everybody else, tonight’s all about Kendall! The brunette cutie says she wants her Sweet 16 bash to stay “low key” — but in this family we all know that just doesn’t happen. And that’s not all. Kendall also really wants a tattoo on the back of her neck that says “you’re beautiful” in French. The only problem? Nobody under the age of 18 can get a tattoo in California, even with parental consent. And getting dad Bruce Jenner to agree to a tattoo? Never. gonna. happen.
Speaking of Bruce, in the next scene, Papa Bruce takes Kendall out to test drive cars. But not just any cars — she’s test driving Porsches. But of course. Can we trade lives, please? We’d totally go through being 16 again for the chance to drive a new Porsche!
While he might be cool about the car thing, he’s not exactly keen on Kendall having a party. His big request? Absolutely no drinking. Kendall’s big sisters try to stick up for her by saying she’d never do such a thing, but Bruce isn’t buying it. “I stole cars at 15, I wasn’t drinking,” Khloe says. Well, that’s reassuring.
Not so shockingly, Kris Jenner is in full-on Momager party-planning mode. Kris wants to throw Kendall the most dramatic, extravagant red carpet party evah and she’s throwing out all kinds of ridic suggestions for Kendall’s party: a venue with bowling alley on one side, a go-cart on the other, a Cirque du Soleil theme. Um, what about Cirque du Soleil says “low key”? Exactly. Nothing. We see a power struggle a-brewin’!
Later, Kendall tackles another teenage milestone: She takes her driving test. Unfortunately, our little model can walk a runway, but she can’t drive a car. And BTW, what we said up there about being 16 again? After watching Kendall burst into tears over failing her test, we totally take that back.
After the commercial break, we become officially convinced that Kendall Jenner is the absolute sweetest girl on the planet. Khloe takes Kendall shopping for toys for the children’s hospital and the girls head over to deliver their goods. Kendall’s so nice and sweet to the hospital patients, and you can tell it really tears at her heartstrings that she’s so fortunate while others have such hardship. Yup, that trip to the hospital solidifies the idea that she does NOT want a big party.
When they get home, Kris Jenner kind of ruins the good mood by telling Kendall she has someone offering to throw her a party in the Bahamas (with 75 of her closest friends, naturally) and she should really think about accepting the offer. Again, what about a 75-person Bahamas bash is “low key”? We’re beginning to think that phrase isn’t even in Kris Jenner’s vocabulary. Oh, who are we kidding? We know it isn’t.
While she’s not stoked on the party location, Kendall is sure of one thing: She wants a friggin’ tattoo. Kendall somehow finds out you can get one in Vegas with just a parental consent form. So, Kendall confronts the beast and brings it up to Bruce, who turns her away laughing. Hm. The only thing we’re laughing about is the fact that Mama J tells Kendall to go ask Bruce “why he has two diamond studs in his ears.” We’ve often wondered. But Kendall’s tattoo proposition makes Bruce even more uneasy about the party and he decides to hire some high-end security for the event.
Like any soon-to-be-16-year-old, Kendall decides to go behind her dad’s back and books a flight to Vegas to get inked. Not only that, but she wrangles her even younger sis Kylie into going with her! Oh, these girls. Taking after their big sisters already!
Later, the whole family gathers to watch Kendall and Kylie cheer, and Kendall finds out that Kris has already sent out the Bahamas party itinerary to everyone, including Kourtney. When Kendall gets home, she goes off on Kris and reiterates that she will not be partying in the Bahamas. Kendall explains why she wants a less extravagant party and Kris finally understands.
Luckily, Kendall finds an awesome L.A. venue with the coolest rooftop party space we’ve ever seen. And to think Kris ever doubted her! But other parts of the party aren’t going so well. Kourt, Khloe, and Kylie are having a pretty hard time booking a special musical guest. First, they try to book Lil Wayne with no such luck. Eventually they get ahold of Tyga — uh, who’s that again? — and even he says he’s not sure he can make it.
Then, it’s Operation: Kendall and Kylie Escape to Vegas! On their way out the door, the littlest Jenners lie and tell Bruce they’re going to the mall. The mall? At 8 a.m.? Whatever, he falls for it! Speaking of falling for things, Kendall also reveals she sort of kind of tricked her mom into signing the consent form. Looks like this girl’s about to get tatted up!
Once they reach Sin City, Kendall starts to feel a little less positive about her decision. While Kendall’s prepping to go under the needle, Kylie’s snatching snacks from the sugar factory for her sister’s sweet 16. And since Kylie’s not around to tell Kendall whether the initial drawing on her skin looks good or not, she feels even more unsure about the whole thing. With no one left to turn to, Kendall calls Kourtney, who advises her not to do it if she’s not 100 percent committed. On that note, Kendall decides not to go through with it. “I could be sleeping right now,” Kylie says when she returns. Seriously. A trip to Vegas for nothing!
Back in L.A., Kendall comes clean with Bruce about her little cross-state tryst. Er, almost. She tells him she had the opportunity to get a tattoo but didn’t, and conveniently fails to mention the tiny fact that the tattoo parlor was in Vegas. He’s so mad she went to a tattoo parlor that she decides not to mention that part. Good call, we’d say.
Then, it’s party time! Bruce really has this security thing on lock down — there’s gotta be at least 15 well-dressed security guards on hand, and there’s even a metal detector at the entrance. Even we’re embarrassed for Kendall at this point.
Turns out the inside of the party is way cooler than the outside. Kris Jenner really pulled out all the stops and put together what looks like a pretty sweet shindig. Among the highlights? A traveling photo booth, fire performers, a live DJ, and, of course, a rooftop pool. However, there’s not a ton of people and it doesn’t look to be getting too out of control. Kendall even offered a toy donation table and asked her friends to bring toys to give to the children’s hospital in lieu of birthday presents.
While Kendall’s shakin’ her newly-16-year-old bootie on the dance floor, Bruce is walking around with a headset attached to security. Um, while we’d normally say that seems like a bit much, maybe he does have a reason to worry: Kendall tells Khloe that people are sneaking in alcohol. Without batting an eyelash and at Kendall’s request, Khloe gets up on stage and makes an announcement about how uncool that is and how the Kardashians do not condone underage drinking. When Bruce finds out Kendall asked Khloe to make the announcement, he admits maybe he was a little hard on his little girl. Ya think? Crazy dad aside, Kendall has a wonderful time and says she wouldn’t change a thing!
But that’s not the end: How could Kendall’s Sweet 16 special be over without us knowing whether or not she passed her driver’s test? And more importantly, what kind of car she got for her birthday! Two weeks later, we see Kendall pass her test with flying colors... and drive away in a hot new Range Rover. Maybe being 16 isn’t so bad after all.