What do sexual identity, pianos, and couponing have in common? They all cropped up in Kourtney and Kim Take New York Season 2, Episode 5: "Questionable Actions".
It all starts with Scott Disick scouting out – wait for it!– pianos. He finds a beauty that he likes and decides to have it delivered to his Gansevoort Hotel suite.
But wait! It gets better. We’re far more interested in the much-buzzed-about tiff between Kim’s BFF, PR exec Jonathan Cheban, and her hubby Kris Humphries. When Jonathan meets up with K-squared and friends for a rousing game of ping pong, he shows up alone, which makes Kris start to question things, like, you know, Jonathan’s sexuality. In the car on the way home, he asks Kim if she thinks Jonathan’s playing for the other team. Kim says she and Jonathan don’t really discuss his sexuality. Um, fa real? Kris may question Jonathan’s sexuality, but we question Kim and Jonathan’s friendship.
Later, Scott’s baby grand is delivered. Kourtney comes home and is slightly upset about the big ol’ hunk of musical machinery, and not just because it’s taking up space in her suite, but because Scott can’t play a single note. However, Kourtney tells Scott she thinks men who play piano are sexy and makes a bet with him. If he learns to play, Kourtney will get down and dirty with him on top of it. And if he doesn’t? It’s going back to the piano store.
Then, Kim and Jonathan are out doing fun BFF stuff like shopping at a potpourri store. What should be a fun trip all about grape seed and vanilla bean extract turns into something else because Kris Humphries is also in tow and, per usual, oversteps his boundaries by asking poor candle-sniffing Jonathan – to his face – whether he’s gay. “Come on, man, all the candles and stuff...” Kris starts. Jonathan is clearly offended, but only because he thinks Kris is a total naive D-bag to think that just because a man enjoys a good pot of potpourri means he’s playing for the other team. We know plenty of good men who get down with a good-smelling cinnamon candle!
Meanwhile, Scott, excited by the idea of banging Kourtney on the piano, is on a mission to teach himself some tunes. “If he were a normal person, he’d get a piano lesson,” Kourtney says, to which we wonder: whoever said Scott Disick was a normal person? Anyway, Kourtney turns out to be a far better self-taught pianist than Scott, much to his dismay. Still, the episode isn’t even halfway over, so maybe there’s hope for the playboy to his get piano freak on yet! Scott decides to call in for some help honoring his wife’s wishes. His first song? "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". Unfortunately, he’s not exactly the next Mozart.
Later, it’s back to Jonathan’s sexuality. While Jonathan and Kim are sorting through Kim’s massive clothing collection, Kim decides to ask her longtime pal about his sexual orientation – for the first time, apparently – just to settle it with her husband once and for all. We gotta admit, we’re pretty shocked she doesn’t know this stuff, but as Kim points out, they always talk about her, not him. While he doesn’t give a straight answer as to whether he prefers chicks or d*cks, Jonathan does tell Kim he’s never been in love – and for a minute, Kim “72 Days” Kardashian is heartbroken for her friend. However, the way Kim comfortably strips down in front of him makes us think maybe she thinks he’s gay, too. That, or she’s done it before.
Then, back at the Gansevoort Hotel, Scott proudly puts on a recital of his "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star". We will admit he’s not half bad, but Kourtney says the piano still has to go back. After they get down and dirty on top of it, of course.
Later, Kim tells Kris she talked to Jonathan and he confessed he’s never been in love. Kris quickly responds, “He’s gay. It’s impossible that he’s not,” Kris says.
Over at Jonathan’s biz partner’s house, Kris asks Simon if Jonathan is gay. Later, Kris, Kim and Jonathan sit down to sushi, and Kris apologizes for his remark. Jonathan isn’t exactly quick to forgive. He calls Kris ignorant, and informs him that he actually has a date – with a chick – that same night. Kris still doesn’t understand why Jonathan’s so peeved and tells him he can call him gay everyday. “No, I’ll just call you unemployed,” the J-man quips. Oh, snap! Jonathan and Kris’ argument begins escalating when Jonathan brings up somebody – whose named is bleeped out – and really pushes Kris over the edge. Luckily (for us), Jonathan invited the duo to dinner that night, so they’ll get to finish what they started.
Scott Disick isn’t the only one with a fun new fetish. Khloe and Kourtney are Skyping about couponing and Kourtney decides to pursue it with fervor. At the grocery store on her first adventure, Kim has to keep reminding Kourtney that they don’t need things like toilet paper (they live in a hotel) or microwavable items. As if the Kardashians need to save money anyway! Kourtney compares couponing to winning in Vegas. As for Kourtney’s savings total? She saved a whole seven dollars.
Later, Kourtney (now better known as the crazy coupon lady) determined to beat her seven dollars of savings. She’s so serious that she goes to meet and trade with a couponing specialist. Kris, however, has no respect for Kourt's new hobby and rips up a few of her good ones. Ra-hude. However, when Kourtney’s new hobby takes precedence over her lunch date with Scott, Kim thinks it’s time for an intervention and they get her by hiding her ridiculously OCD alphabetized coupon binder.
Then it’s dinner time at the Cheban house, and Kris has the balls to ask Jonathan’s hot model date if she thought he was gay at first. Um, seriously? Give it up, dude.
Later, Simon shows up and tells Kim and Kris they’re in hot water with Jonathan over Kris’ comment. Simon tells his own story of being outed by his high school teacher and how hurtful it was and Kris actually decides maybe he should stop badgering Jonathan about who he chooses to sleep with. Clearly, K. Hump is not the brightest bulb in the box. But he does apologize – and Jonathan says, once and for all, that he’s straight. And get this? Jonathan even accepts his apology!
One of tonight’s mysteries is solved, but the whereabouts of Kourtney’s coupon book are still unbeknownst to her. While Kourt’s peeved it’s missing, Scott just explains to her that he thinks she has a problem and she resolves only to coupon from the Sunday paper. Whew. Disaster averted.