Credit: Peter “Hopper” Stone/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney    
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Modern Family

”I Love Gambling, It’s So Easy” 10 Best Quotes From Modern Family Season 3, Episode 11: ”Lifetime Supply”

2012 is upon us, which means it’s time to sit back, relax, and gear up for an entire year of Modern Family laughs. Get started with the top 10 doozies from Season 3, Episode 11: "Lifetime Supply." Sigh, even if the end of the world is upon us, at least we’ll go down LOLing.

10. Phil (Ty Burrell) drops his pants for the doc: “Let’s dim the lights, crank up the Norah Jones and get this over with.”

This is like Phil and Jay’s (Ed O'Neill) massage session all over again.

9. Jay questions Manny’s golfing outfit: “What are you going for here?”

Manny (Rico Rodriguez): “Matt Damon in Bagger didn’t get that?”

Clearly, Manny just caught a matinee viewing of We Bought A Zoo.

8. Manny jumps at the doorbell: “I’ll get it.”

Jay: “Hold on, Gatsby.”

We appreciate any and all literary jokes.

7. Javier knocks Jay’s favorite hobby: “Golfing. Pshhh, that is for old men and women who like women."

Ah, the myriad joys of lesbian golfing.

6. Claire (Julie Bowen) tries to make Phil feel better about his armpit: “Maybe Luke (Nolan Gould) hit you with your broomstick while you were playing Quidditch.”

Why wasn’t this amazing scene captured on camera?

Credit: Peter “Hopper” Stone/ABC Television Group © 2011 Disney    

5. Javier explains his magical horse powers: “I only know what he tells me with his eyes. Don’t ask why, but maybe in some previous life I was a horse.”

If he was a horse, he’d have been a stallion.

4. Cam (Eric Stonestreet) remembers how he used to sign autographs: “Best fishes, Cameron Tucker.”

Cam’s a winner, no trout about it.

3. Cam throws a lyrical insult at Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson): “You may be flying high now, but pretty soon you’re gonna be free falling, Tom Petty. Because you’re petty. Tom Petty.”

We always knew Mitchell was crazy ‘bout Elvis.

2. Cam gets home from a night out with Mitchell: “How was Lily? I hope you weren’t too bored.”

Alex: “Are you kidding me? I love talking to her, she knows more words than Haley.”

Acronyms count as words, Alex. OMG.

1. Manny gets psyched about the horse races: “I love gambling, it’s so easy!”

Good thing his parents are millionaires.

Catch the next new episode of Modern Family on Wednesday, January 11 at 9 pm ET/PT on ABC.

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