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Secret Life of the American Teenager

What to Expect When Secret Life Returns in March 2012: A Detailed Analysis of the Promo

The promo for the second half of Season 4 of Secret Life of the American Teenager is 30 seconds of bliss, tears, coifs and sausage.

If you watching it has put you in a state of panic and fear as to who might get pregnant next, don’t worry. We’ve looked through every millisecond of content and created a detailed analysis of what’s to come!

0:08 – Amy Holds Up Her Ring In The Hallway
Sigh, he went to Jared!

0:08 – Amy And Ricky Smooch In The Kitchen, Ricky’s Coif Remains Erect
These two are so cute, but the eternal question remains: Where is Baby John?

0:10 – Ricky Fist-Pumps John
Good to know this kid has mastered hand-eye coordination. Now only if he’d learn how to talk.

0:11 – A Completely Weird and Confusing Blue Sparkly Smear Flashes Across The Screen
Clearly, one of the ABC interns was experimenting on iMovie again.

0:11 – ABC Family Reminds Us That Shailene Woodley Is a Golden Globe Nominee
Real subtle, guys.

0:14 – Ben Waves at Someone
“Oh, hey guys! Remember me? I’m in this show, too!”

0:14: Amy Says She “Just Wants To Have Some Fun”
Uh oh, is someone getting cold feet? What, two marriages before the age of 18 was too much to handle?

0:15: Ricky Confronts Amy About If She Really Wants To Get Hitched
Wow, we never thought Amy would be the one to leave Ricky at the altar! Get your head back in the game, girl.

0:16 – Adrian Walks Into The Butcher Shop Looking Depressed
Oh god, someone’s been at the churros again.

0:20 – Anne Looks Horrified
Finally! She remembered that her daughter’s been missing for almost a year!

0:22 – Amy Comes Out Of A Bathroom Crying / Ricky Holds Condoms
As far as we can tell, there are two possibilities here. 1) Amy is pregnant again. 2) Amy breaks up with Ricky and he grabs a box of condoms to make himself feel better. Either way gets a thumbs up from us.

01.6.2012 / 11:56 PM EDT by Mehera Bonner
Related: Secret Life of the American Teenager, Sneak Peeks

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