We're in dance withdrawal over here at Wetpaint Entertainment, so we decided to check out Lifetime's Dance Moms to fill the void. Don't judge!
If you're hooked on the sequins and not afraid to admit it, check out last night's recap for Season 2, Episode 1: "Everyone's Replaceable."
Back in the Saddle... Er, Pyramid
It's a brand new season of Dance Moms, and a brand new competition season for the Abby Lee Miller Dance Company. Abby welcomes her just-crowned national champions by announcing that she will be holding an open audition for an additional dancer for the group... maybe two dancers because everyone's replaceable. Nice to see you, too, Abby!
Next up, the dreaded pyramid. As always, Maddie takes the pinnacle spot, with Chloe and Nia on the rung below her. Chloe got the lead in that music video, but whatever. Nia's problem? Her mother is at work instead of with her, which according to Abby means her mother doesn't care about her. Nice. Nia feels that her mother is irrelevant and understands that she has a job, which, you know, like pays for her dance lessons? It's nice to know someone on this show is familiar with the concept of logic. Sisters Paige and Brooke are on the bottom for daring to take a break from dance, while Mackenzie gets bottomed for sitting on the couch eating chips.
Back to Nia, when her mom Holly does show up a bit later, Abby tears her a new one for not making her presence at pyramid her priority. Seriously? She goes on to say that Nia needs her help because she's not that swift... ouch. She also brings up something about periods and "the talk," which we've already blocked out. In short, Abby is totally out of line for reasons we can't really understand. How dare Holly have something more important in her life than the reveal of the weekly pyramid!
Crazy Cathy Secretly Plots Her Revenge
Over at Candy Apple's Dance Center, Cathy is prepping her own batch of girls for some serious score-settling with Abby Lee's troupe. She has also decided to implement the pyramid — except hers is super fancy and magical, like the letters on Wheel of Fortune. One point to Candy Apple's.
Who Wants to Join the Land of Crazy?
Not surprisingly, the line is out the door and around the corner with hopeful young dancers and their (glutton for punishment?) mothers the day of Abby's open audition. As the tiny bunheads twirl, leap, and sashay around the studio, Abby walks around gingerly crushing little-girl dreams as she eliminates the weak links. Meanwhile up on the observation deck, the current moms are scoping out the potential moms and trying to figure out who would fit into their clique.
Abby narrows her choices down to a select handful, including an Abby Lee regular named Peyton who's eventually cut for being too tall. Her mother, Leslie, is super pissed. Abby explains that Peyton would need to be cut in half in order to be on her dance team. Well, then, why didn't you say so? Leslie keeps ranting and raging, screaming "Find her a spot!" at the top of her lungs. We're pretty sure we haven't seen the last of this woman.
Finally, the last girl standing is 8-year-old Kendal, a picture-perfect Stepford type, who the rest of the girls welcome with open arms. Aww. Whether or not the dance moms will welcome Kendal's mom Jill with open arms remains to be seen. Outlook not good. Christi predicts that Jill and Maddie's mom Melissa will either team up BFF style or turn into two beta fish and kill each other. Fingers crossed for the latter.
At the competition, both Maddie and Chloe rock their solos taking first place in their respective age groups, while Nia scores a respectable fourth-place finish. Unfortunately, Kendal lets her nerves get to her and she fails to place at all. Abby advises her, "You save those tears for your pillow, in your room, alone." Welcome to the Abby Lee Miller Dance Company, kid.
In the group division, the girls are feeling the pressure of living up to their national title. The performance isn't good enough for Abby, but it is good enough for the judges since the team wins first place. When Abby expresses her disappointment to the girls, Kelly loses it and ends up calling her a whore. Jill concludes that "these moms are crazy."
Um, yeah, didn't you watch Season 1?