Wherein Aria Proves That She’s Extremely Patient When It Comes to Sitting on a Wet Bench.
What on earth is up with this dude Holden? That said, we’d be a lot more opposed to him if he hadn’t shown up with all of that frozen yogurt for Aria and Ella (Holly Marie Combs). Like, who cuts a guy out of their life when he goes on a random fro-yo runs? (Of course, how many straight guys do you know who like frozen yogurt? Maybe Aria’s friends were onto something...)
But who can think about Holden or anything else when we were given what’s bound to be among our top 3 or 4 favorite Ezria moments of the season! Just when we were ready to write an obituary for their relationship and maybe encourage Aria to try OkCupid or something, Ezra proves why we love him so much. (And if it we had to wait on that bench for as long as Aria did, we would at least have been playing Angry Birds to pass the time.)
Wherein Emily Realizes That Threatening Jenna is Her Favorite New Pastime.
There was no Maya this week, making us wonder if Emily is having a hard time coming to terms with Maya having dated a guy. But one thing Emily apparently doesn’t have a hard time with is making threats about Jenna’s cane, which she also made earlier this season (in Season 2, Episode 11: “I Must Confess”). Apparently, Emily is not a fan of canes (although we don’t yet know how she feels about the candy variety).
And Emily was also forced into doing Spencer’s dirty work, as Emily tells poor One-Armed Toby (not to be confused with the “One-Armed Man” from The Fugitive) that Spencer hooked up again with Wren. But we still don’t get why: 1.) Toby just happened to get taken care of by Wren (does Rosewood have a critical shortage of doctors, not unlike the town on the show Hart of Dixie?); and 2.) How it is that Wren — a handsome doctor with an adorable accent — is apparently always single. (Translation: You can always give us a call, Wren!)
Wherein Hanna Learns That You Blenders Aren’t As Durable As You Think.
We were wondering whatever happened to A’s phone, but it turns out that Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) has been plugging away at it all this time. He’s quite suspicious about what’s on the video that he finds, especially since he sees Garrett in it, who then is seated near him in an outdoor cafe as Caleb is working on the video. A note to Caleb: Maybe you shouldn’t choose an outdoor cafe as the place where you do all your illegal phone tampering? Just a thought.
We’re getting a little nervous that there are so many lies between Caleb and Hanna, with Caleb now willing to go behind Hanna’s back and provide her friends with the info that’s on the secret copy that he made of the flash drive. (Let’s just hope that Hanna doesn’t liquefy the duplicate, too.) And why didn’t Hanna just stomp on that flash drive like a normal person? Then again, Hanna doesn’t usually wear shoes that are made for stompin’.
Speaking of relationships with a ridiculous amount of lies, Mona (Janel Parrish) is clearly not over her break-up with Noel (Brant Daugherty), as we see her return a necklace to him. (Mona decides to part with jewelry? We never thought we’d see such a day!) Later, when Mona is ready for a night of going out and getting wasted (which is called “pulling a Hanna”), she and Hanna spot Noel and Jenna (Tammin Sursok) on what looks to be a date. Apparently, Noel gets around more than Russell Brand.
And what was the deal with that advice that Ms. Marin gave to Hanna, telling her that it’s good to keep secrets from your significant other? We appreciate what Hanna’s mom was trying to say, but considering this is a mother and daughter that have been known to steal money from old women, break into dental offices, and hook up with engaged men, we’re thinking that maybe being open and honest should be something they try out one of these days.
Wherein Spencer Acquires a Pick-Up Truck That She Has No Use For (Except To Make Out In).
Nursery rhymes are all about people falling from one thing or another, whether it’s off a wall (“Humpty Dumpty”) or down a hill (“Jack and Jill”). Well, now Pretty Little Liars is borrowing a plot twist from Mother Goose, as Toby (Keegan Allen) has a great fall. Someone get the king’s horses and the king’s men on the phone, stat.
We honestly don’t know why Spencer thought that she could sneak around with Toby and not have “A” know, but — as we can see from that picture message from “A” of Toby and Spence kissing — their attempt at a secret rendezvous didn’t work out too well. We also feel like there had to have been another way to protect Toby without simultaneously breaking his heart at the same time. That’s not what you call a win-win.
We’re big Spoby fans, since saying that you don’t want Spoby together is like saying you don’t like pizza. (In other words, it’s crazy talk.) And we were convinced that Spoby would be back together following their recent make-out sesh in Toby’s pick-up, so we’re devastated to think they might actually be dunzo. But it’s pretty hard to see them recovering from this, now that Toby knows that Spence hooked up with the cutest doctor this side of Grey's Anatomy.
So does this mean Spencer and Wren will start up again? And what exactly is Spencer going to do with that old pickup truck? It’s not like she spends her weekends hauling lumber or anything. (We would suggest that she could give the pick-up to Wren, but we don’t really see him as the pickup type. If anything, we see him as a guy who has his own personal driver.)
- Jenna is as creepy and suspicious as ever this week. She’s eavesdropping on Mona and Hanna in the school bathroom, she tells Toby that Spencer is haunted, and she meets up with Noel for some reason. And speaking of Noel, how is it that Aria almost fell for this seemingly evil guy back in Season 1?
- If you ask us, the only toys that should have hidden compartments are Pez dispensers that are filled with candy. However, it certainly wasn’t candy that the girls stumbled upon in Ali’s doll, and one of those ominous notes was written on an invite to Noel’s Halloween party and signed by “A.” Is this yet another reason to point a finger at Noel as a suspect for “A” (or should we instead be applauding “A” for going green by using recycled paper)?
- More about Noel: We wonder when we’ll get the full story about his break-up with Mona. It’s suspicious when Mona mentions how much Noel lies, as if there was something else he was lying about, and we also wonder why Mona paused for such a long time when she spotted Noel and Jenna together. Is Noel becoming Jenna’s new henchman, as Garrett perhaps used to be? (Or maybe Noel is just trying to find a new skinny-dipping partner?)
- We still don’t know what was in the box when the N.A.T. Club members (minus a passed-out Jason) were searching Ali’s room for their videos on the night she died, but we do see Ian (Ryan Merriman) and Garrett fighting as Ali walks up the stairs. Then again, Ali probably assumed that anytime two guys were fighting, it’s because they were fighting to take her on a date.
- How much does Garrett know about what Caleb is doing with A’s phone? Or perhaps Garrett really was just being a nice guy and reminding Caleb about his keys, and we should be patting Garrett on the back or something? (Then again, the words “Garrett” and “nice guy” don’t really go together, do they?)
- We’re not going so far as to accuse Holden of having ties to “A,” but it does seem awfully strange that he’s so cryptic about how Aria is helping him out during their so-called dates. Then again, if you’re a cute guy with shaggy hair on this show, you automatically have about a gajillion secrets.
Other Things That Need to be Discussed:
- We freakin’ loved Aria’s flowery trench coat that she wore to Philly. Some people may prefer their trench coats to be basic (like, say, Inspector Gadget), but not us.
- What was up with “A” setting an entire trash can on fire at the end of the episode, just to drop a few photos into it? Why not just set the photos themselves on fire? And then we half-expected some old-timey hobos to walk up to A’s trash can and start huddling around it for warmth, like they do in movies.
- Does Jenna just spend all day standing in a bathroom stall, waiting for people she knows to randomly walk in and start sharing secrets? Because there have got to be places that are less gross to hang around and wait for secrets in than the bathroom.
Be sure to tune in for the next episode of Pretty Little Liars on Monday, January 30 at 8 pm ET/PT on ABC Family.