8. Matador-tested, Hummel-approved. Finn (Cory Monteith): Mr. Schue, what’s with the shiny coat? I thought you were Kurt.
7. Does using a cell phone in a womb count as “roaming”? Roz [to Sue]: You gonna get in them stirrups, and you gonna push and push, and a full-grown adult gonna pop out with a briefcase and a job, talking on a cell phone.
6. So now Sue appreciates Will (Matthew Morrison)’s hair? How the tables have turned! Sue[to Will]: Seeing as how I find bald infants terrifying, I’m gonna need a few ounces of your baby gravy to ensure Sue Sylvester, Jr. is born with a full head of hair.
5. We’re hoping these weren’t both at the same time. Roz: I had noodles with the President and a threesome with Michael Phelps.
4. Puck isn’t taking any chances. Puck (Mark Salling): I stopped washing down there because it seemed kind of gay.
3. We thought that Santana (Naya Rivera) was the one who’s referred to as “Sandbags.” Roz[to Sue]: What you need to do is start praying that you give birth to a child that likes to eat sand, cuz that’s all that’s coming out those old, wrinkly boobs.
2. Oh, Brittany (Heather Morris). She thinks that every word starting with “bi-”means the same thing. Brittany: I’m bilingual!
1. Let’s hope Sue isn’t speaking from experience. Sue[to Santana]: Stop with the lies, sweater meat, or you will be hocking nude glossies of yourself behind the dumpster of Hooter’s by the weekend.
So many great quotes to choose from this week! Which did you like best?