The Situation and Snooki are the butt of the joke in this week's Jersey Shore Season 5, Episode 6: “The Follow Game.” After huffing and puffing about his machinations in last week's episode, Season 5, Episode 5: “Nothing But Nice,” Mike didn't do much except gossip and Snooki got a few televised moments of sheer insanity. In the mean time, Vinny got smushed, and Pauly D got a stalker.
The Situation's Official Detective Agency
Last week, Mike declared war on Snooki, and declared that he was going to find out who in the house was against him. So, this week, he called up The Unit, with the hopes that they could go out with Snooki's man, Jionni, and reveal that Snooki had cheated on him with Mike last year.
It was all going to be so evil, except…The Unit was in Miami and the plan was foiled. Sitch was then reduced to gossiping about his brother Frank's hook-up with Deena Nicole’s sister. Mike got a little Real Housewives-esque talking about all the "information" Unit will get to him, but he comes off more like a giggling teenage girl.
Jenni Vs. Roger
JWOWW is still moping around the house, threatening Sammi's previous moping record (where was she this week? Still sleeping?), all sad about her boyfriend Roger, who sported a truly spectacular headband straight from the Ed Hardy sale rack in his scene this week.
I’m Team Jenni all the way, flaking multiple times on dates is not okay, and calling your girlfriend back to apologize for doing so is not "kissing ass," no matter what dictionary Roger is reading from. In the end, Jenni gave in and called Roger, who proceeded to yell at her. This all makes me so sad: where's the girl who will rip off your head after you're done having sex? I want that girl back, and not this one.
Snooki truly earned her gigantic paycheck with all the bizarre scenes she must be forced to participate in. This week, that damn bunny head returned, and Snooki had to put makeup on it, and give it a new character: Lola, a showgirl from Vegas. Say what you want about Snooks: she works hard!
Pauly D Gets A Stalker
I'd like to think that the show's producers aren't cruel enough to give attention to a real stalker, so I'm going to just call it and say that Pauly's "stalker" came straight from Central Casting. Although, it was cute trying to get Vinny to convince us that no one could possibly know where they are at all times, and she just managed to somehow find them. It's called a shooting schedule!
No More Shore Store, Please!
Other than this week's fake Shore Store storyline (Deena and Snooki blow off work, find a random "bacholorette" to go party with, and then Deena is threatened with possibly being fired), this episode wasn't as slow and torture-filled as the previous two weeks. Vinny and Pauly both hooked up (not with each other), and even The Situation got to have some good old-fashioned club fun with the Meatballs.
Still, it's getting harder to hide from the meta-ness of this show, like Deena saying that the Shore Store was the "perfect job" when we all know she is referring to her reality television gig as the perfect job. Once again, in this episode, there are multiple shots of giant groups of people watching the gang film, and whenever there are scenes on the deck, there was no effort made to hide folks screaming up at them. While Snooki and Deena were dancing with their new friend on the boardwalk, there were even glimpses of security guards keeping the girls safe. How much better would the show be if they acknowledged they could all probably buy the entire Jersey Shore boardwalk, with money left over? We will probably never find out.
Jersey Shore airs Thursdays at 10 pm ET/PT on MTV.
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