Bachelor Glossary! How To Speak “Purrfact” Bachelorese
In case you missed it.... are you fluent yet?!
Gather round, class. School is back in session in Bachelor Nation and we’re here with a handy crib sheet for the newbies, or anyone else looking to major in Bachelorese this semester. Several terms used recently on The Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor Pad may be foreign to the uninitiated and others simply have a different meaning from the real world. Grab your pencils, set aside your common sense, and let’s have an “amazing” lesson!
Amazing Usage: To describe absolutely everything that goes well — without discretion — including a date, a meal, a kiss, a conversation, a travel destination, a sunset, or the person you just dumped when you want to sugar-coat the landing. As used by:Ali Fedotowsky on The Bachelorette Season 6. Every chance she got.
Forgo Usage: Although antiquated in the real world, “forgo” is what you may elect to do if you wish to give up your individual room and instead spend the night with a member of the opposite sex in a “fantasy suite.” Forgo has become an all-purpose term for any option one wishes to decline. As used by: Host Chris Harrison on the fantasy suite date cards he helpfully writes for each Bachelor and Bachelorette to be read aloud by their final three contestants during the overnight dates.
Guard and Protect Usage: In the real world, these words are similar if not exactly the same. In Bachelor Nation they are used together to represent extreme valor in the face of theoretical threats. As used by:Kasey Kahl, who vowed to guard and protect Ali on The Bachelorette, then guard and protect his girlfriend Vienna Girardi on Bachelor Pad 2.
Journey Usage: In the real world, a journey is usually the physical movement from one place to another. In Bachelor Nation, journey usually refers to a state of being, moving from one emotional point in your life to another. As used by: Bachelors and Bachelorettes to discuss their emotional, often “roller coaster” journeys through “the process.”
Kick Rocks Usage: When you want someone to be eliminated, you pretend you are speaking to them as you address the camera with “Kick rocks, man,” or some variation thereof. To be used in conjunction with a peace sign, held diagonally in front of one’s chest. As used by: Kasey Kahl, in relation to Justin Rego and Jake Pavelka, on Bachelor Pad 2.
Man Code Usage: Often used in the form of a violation, to describe an action taken by a male contestant that is directly opposed to “man code” — i.e., what a real man should do. As used by:David Good, first on The Bachelorette Season 5 to describe Juan Barbieri, then to describe everything Jake Pavelka does, and also in Dave’s book “The Man Code.”
Pavelka Usage: To be used in place of the word "ass," in honor of Season 14 Bachelor Jake Pavelka As used by: Kasey Kahl on BP2 in the quote, "I'm gonna go take a Jake and wipe my Pavelka!"
Pulling a Mesnick Usage: An extreme display of male emotion, most often involving a man clinging to a balcony railing, doubled over with sobs. As used by: Originally used by Bachelor Jason Mesnick and later copied by Bachelor Jake Pavelka.
Pulling a Bentley Usage: To manipulative a person — especially a man to a woman — by being nice to her face and trashing her to the cameras. As used by: Originally used to describe the actions of Bentley Williams on Bachelorette 7, and most recently revived to describe Blake Julian toying with the emotions of Melissa Schreiber on BP2.
Pulling a Womack Usage: To describe someone who chooses no one at the end of The Bachelor or Bachelorette, electing to leave the show single. As used by: Originally used to describe Brad Womack, who chose no one at the end of Bachelor Season 11. It was briefly used for Ali Fedotowsky when erroneous spoilers pointed to her picking no one, and therefore “pulling a Womack” at the end of Bachelorette 6. Ashley Hebert also tried to throw viewers off the scent of her finale by suggesting she may have pulled a Womack instead of choosing between JP Rosenbaum or Ben Flajnik.
Purrfact Usage: When you feel like “amazing” is so last year, you drawl out this variation of “perfect” instead. As used by:Ashley Hebert on The Bachelorette Season 7.
The Process Usage: Contestants on The Bachelor and Bachelorette are not allowed to speak of the show by name or address it as a television show at all. It is “the process” and must referred to as such. As used by: Everyone on the show, when discussing how “the process” has helped them get in touch with their feelings or how “the process” is a lot harder than they expected.
The wrong reasons Usage: To be used as a warning or damnation against anyone potentially on The Bachelor or Bachelorette for purposes other than to find love. If someone thinks you are trying to promote your career, just travel the world, or become famous, you will be called out for being on the show for “the wrong reasons.” As used by: Someone at least once every season on The Bachelor and Bachelorette. Most recently directed toward Bentley Williams on Bachelorette 7. Note: There are no right or wrong reasons for going on Bachelor Pad.
Whaow! Usage: An expression to describe a particularly surprising or exciting event, when “wow” alone lacks the requisite punch. As used by:Michael Stagliano on Bachelor Pad 2.
Winning! Usage: An expression used Charlie Sheen-style whenever you get a rose or whenever you want to emphasize to the cameras that you will be winning this puppy. "Winning!" As used by: Courtney Robertson, to the frustration of everyone, on The Bachelor Season 16.
Please inform us of any necessary additions to the Bachelor Nation glossary in the comments or at email@example.com.