Wherein Aria and Ezra Experience Their 2,378th “Fake Break-Up”
Is it just us, or did Aria (Lucy Hale) use the words “the bank” in this week’s episode more times than it’s used in the instructions to the game Monopoly? And how creepy was that old dude in the knit cap, who was at the address that Spencer and Aria received from Jonah? Frankly, we believe that if you leave your mail in the mail slot all day long, you deserve to have it stolen.
You might have assumed — as we briefly did — that Ezra (Ian Harding) was in fact dumping Aria in order to move to New Orleans and buy a whole lot of beads (it is Madri Gras, right?). But such was not the case, as Ella then stopped by Ezra’s apartment to toss back a spot of tea and gab about Ezria’s relationship. And what guy isn’t excited to have his girlfriend’s mom dissect the relationship?
Wherein Emily Decides to No Longer Carry a Torch for People Who Tried to Drown Her
Uh, where is Maya (Bianca Lawson) these days? Has she already left for the land of hippies and uneven roads (a.k.a. San Francisco)? Or is she up to no good, and perhaps the police have come to tell Em that Maya’s been hurt — or has hurt herself? Wherever Maya is, Emily’s determined to contact her by leaving voicemail after voicemail. Because if it were us, we wouldn’t find it the least bit creepy for someone to leave us a thousand voice messages. (It’s called sarcasm, people!)
We also get reintroduced to Paige (Lindsey Shaw), whom Emily dropped back in Season 1 because Paige hadn’t yet come to terms with her sexuality (meaning that Paige had something in common with Peppermint Patty from the Peanuts gang). But Paige learns that, just because she’s been away, it doesn’t mean that Em has been sitting around twiddling her thumbs since last season. (Translation: It looks like you better work on your game, Paige.)
Wherein Hanna Learns That Mona Can Act Like a Normal Person Once in a While
Does this mean we can rule out Detective Wilden (Bryce Johnson) as an “A” suspect? Or was he just bluffing about not having anything to do with that police report implicating Hanna (Ashley Benson) with shoplifting? Either way, we’re just relieved that an incident involving Hanna’s shoplifting record didn’t end up with Wilden and Hanna’s mom shacking up. (First time for everything, right?)
Don’t think we’re happy that Caleb (Tyler Blackburn) was M.I.A. this week, but we were happy about Mona (Janel Parrish), who’s looking less like an “A” suspect — we hope! — and more just like a reformed former-bitch. Seriously — how cute was it to see Mona having lunch with the Liars? If you ask us: Seeing them all having lunch together was cuter than seeing a hamster in a raincoat (and that’s saying a lot, since not much is cuter than a hamster in a raincoat).
But does the fact that Mona turned herself in to the jewelry store — rather than squeal on Hanna and her mom — actually prove that she’s not “A,” or is this all just a ruse? Come to think of it, if Mona were in fact “A,” this was rather clever on Mona’s part, as it allowed Mona to seem innocent and to learn that Hanna is pretty clueless about A’s identity. Then again, of all the adjectives to describe Mona, “clever” is probably not the first one you’d use.
Wherein Spoby Fans Are Not Exactly Thrilled
We never thought we’d ponder this, but ponder it we shall: Could Garrett be the father of Melissa’s baby? Wren (Julian Morris) mentions that Garrett accompanied Melissa to the OB/GYN, plus Garrett was stalking Spencer all day and picks up Melissa before she can meet up at the bar with Spencer. We honestly don’t know if Garrett or Ian (Ryan Merriman) would provide the worse genes. Long story short: This sounds like a job for Maury Povich!
Melissa’s always been a tad creepy, but the fact that she’s in the video from the night Ali died, and worked at FWL law firm (a.k.a. the source of the threatening texts)? Shocking! Plus, we were just starting to feel for Melissa, as she and Spence bonded over their new bro Jason (Drew Van Acker), which apparently was news to Melissa. And speaking of FWL, we didn’t think that any law firm could be creepier than the one Tom Cruise works for in The Firm. (Let’s just hope Garrett doesn’t jump on a yellow couch to profess his love for Melissa anytime soon.)
Speaking of Wren, how smokin’ hot were Wrencer this week? Sure, Spencer’s level of drunkenness was closer to that of Keifer Sutherland than Donald Sutherland, but their kiss the next morning was still plenty steamy (bed head be damned!). And props to Wren for not sealing the deal while Spence was “snockered,” despite the fact that he’s more obsessed with Spencer than most guys are with Call of Duty. (Uh, but what’s the deal with Wren and alphabetized books? Somehow, Spencer has found someone who’s as uptight as she is!)
- Melissa was in the video from the night Ali disappeared — crazy, right? Does this mean that Melissa had been conspiring with the N.A.T. Club? We also wonder just how closely Garrett and Melissa are working together, considering that Garrett was spying on the girls as Jonah gave them the location of Melissa’s law firm. (Garrett must have been on to Jonah, no?)
- The fact that Jonah had the address of Melissa’s old law firm is certainly suspicious, but we’re guessing this doesn’t mean Melissa is “A,” since the show wouldn’t reveal it this far in advance. Still, it certainly means Melissa hated Ali more than we even realized. (And speaking of the letters “FWL,” we’re thinking that — if Melissa gets busted for a role in killing Ali — she’ll soon be saying, “FML.”)
- Speaking of Garrett and Melissa, might they have been getting a lot friendlier than we realized? Perhaps Melissa’s baby belongs to Garrett, meaning that Melissa only led Ian on and perhaps was using him. (Then again, we apologize if we don’t exactly shed any tears for Ian. He wasn’t what you’d call a stand-up guy.)
- It seems easy to now assume that Mona is one of the “good guys,” but when is this show ever that simple? It’s not like we even see Mona at the jewelry store, so we don’t know if she actually confessed to shoplifting or not. Frankly, we wouldn’t put it past her to be the one to publicize that police report of Hanna’s shoplifting. (Then again, Mona really shouldn’t be one to judge people for shoplifting; that’s like Channing Tatum teaching an acting class)
- We’re thinking that the chances of Detective Wilden being “A” having decreased dramatically after this week, which means he’s maybe just a crazy perv. (Is being a “crazy perv” better than being an “A” suspect? We’re not so sure.)
- What exactly is Maya’s deal? It didn’t seem like her fight with Emily was all that colossal last week, so we’re wondering if she had bigger things on her mind at that time, and perhaps one of those “bigger things” has caused her harm. Let’s just say that there’s rarely a good reason for a police officer to show up unexpectedly at your loved one’s porch.
Other Things That Need to Be Discussed:
- No one will be confusing Hanna with a Mensa member anytime soon, so that’s why we especially loved it when — as Aria and Emily struggled with the lock on that fence at Melissa’s old law firm — Hanna somehow knew to just push the fence open. When it comes to breaking and entering, Hanna is an undisputed genius.
- We typically love Aria’s spunky style, but this week, it was more punk than spunk. First, she was wearing a spiked dog-collar (accompanied by a skull T-shirt — rawr!) for their meeting with Jonah. Then, during her almost-split with Ezra, she had on a top with spiked shoulders. The Sex Pistols would be proud.
- Given the high volume of random drop-ins that Ezra gets at his pad — as seen with Ella’s drop-in this week — we’re just gonna go ahead and say it: This guy needs to invest in a door with a peephole, stat.
Be sure to tune in for the next episode of Pretty Little Liars on Monday, February 27 at 8 pm ET/PT on ABC Family.