Kacie Boguskie: If Ben Flajnik Chose Me, It Wouldn’t Have Lasted — Part 1 of Exit Interview!
After watching the show, Kacie Boguskie agrees with Bachelor Ben Flajnik that they wouldn’t have made the best couple. They are indeed, as he put it, from different worlds.
During her exit interview after The Bachelor Season 16, Kacie talked about the hometown dates that sent her packing and why she decided to fly to Switzerland (in Episode 9) for one more talk with Ben. Kacie also said, even though she and Courtney Robertson did not get along, Courtney is still a human being and she wants her to be happy. She still respects Ben and wants him to be happy too. So if Ben picks Courtney, she’s fine with that. “If they are a great couple, who are we to judge how they work and who they are, you know? … There is somebody out there for everybody, I believe. And so, if they're meant to be together, then I think that they should be together.” Very sweet. (And a very different tone from her The Ellen DeGeneres Show appearance, dontchathink?)
That said, she’s Team Lindzi because she’s just better friends with Ben’s other finalist, Lindzi Cox. Read on for more from Kacie’s conference call, including the qualities the single gal is looking for in her perfect mate. (Attn: Ryan Park)
When you had your conversation with Ben on this past week's episode, he said he felt like you were worlds apart. Do you feel like your hometown date had a lot to do with it, with him meeting your family? Do you think prior to that he was planning on keeping you around? Kacie Boguskie: I think that coming to my hometown and to the South, which is unfamiliar to him — it was the first he had ever been down this way — really showed him a different world. As much as I'd like to think that, you know, California and Tennessee aren't that different, they are. And so I think it influenced his decision.
Sometimes Ben looks like he is shutting down and becoming a little bit cold. Toward the end of your conversation, especially when you guys started talking about Courtney, that that side of him came out once again. Did you feel that way as well? No, I don't think that he like he is shutting down and he's cold. I just think he is really processing what you're saying and making sure that he is taking it all in and, you know, if he has any questions for you that he is going to get them out before he doesn't have the chance to.
Ben has two women left, Lindzi and Courtney. Can you rate each and say who you think he should pick and why, although it's not really a surprise? I think, honestly watching the way he interacts with both of them, I'm Team Lindzi because I love Lindzi. But for his happiness and compatibility, it seems, it seems like he and Courtney get along great. What surprises you most when you're watching the show back? Oh, that's a tough one. The biggest surprise I guess is watching him with other women, and, you know, seeing how they bring out different sides of him.
When you were watching it back, did you feel that maybe you understood more why he let you go finally? Yes, I think watching the show has been very therapeutic, and it has let me see that maybe there are differences there that wouldn't have lasted.
When you went to see him in Switzerland, was the hope that he would see the error of his ways and take you back? Initially when I went, I was not going for a second chance, I really wanted closure and just to make sure that I knew I said my piece about Courtney, because I really do care about him and I want him to be happy. But of course there was that little part of me that maybe hoped that he would see, if he saw me again he'd be like, “oh, I made a mistake and I want you to stay.” But I was not expecting that at all, and that's not why I went back.
A lot of women who we've talked to in the process of this, once they've gotten home, have sort of realized “oh, he wasn't the one for me. I'm glad he let me go,” you know, I think even Emily [O’Brien] said, “I feel like I dodged a bullet.” [D]o you feel kind of glad that you didn't make it all the way to the end now, or do you still feel like, no I really did genuinely fall in love with him, it could have worked had I made it... I did genuinely fall in love with Ben... And I think that I'm glad I left when I did, though, because my feelings just would have progressed more. And I really think, in retrospect, and after watching the show, that we wouldn't have been the best couple, maybe later on, and so I'm glad that, that as much as it did hurt, that I didn't get any further in my feelings. Can you elaborate on why you don't think you would be a good couple? I think, I really think Ben described it well when he said we're from two different worlds, and I think I didn't want to see that at the time, but now I get it. You know, and I think we are, will be great friends, you know, and we are very compatible, and we'll have a lot of fun, but I just think that there are differences that you know, in everyday life, we would have to compromise on.
[W]ith going to talk to him about Courtney, and it seems like he really did listen to what you had to say but just kind of went the other way anyway — do you regret talking to him about that? Do you think that you'll be able to be friends with him if he does pick her? I definitely don't regret talking to him about Courtney, and I was prepared for him to be very standoffish if I brought it, whenever I brought it up. But he was very open to hearing what I had to say and said that, you know, the things that I said were concerns to him. But him still choosing to pick her is his decision, and it's for him. At the end of the day, it's about what makes him happy and hopefully, you know, if he does choose her, that it is her that makes him happy. So I think after all of this, him choosing Courtney doesn't affect, you know, really, how I feel about him as a person because I really think he is a great guy, and I don't think it affects a possible friendship later.
You had some negative feelings about Courtney, what was it about her that rubbed you the wrong way, and what do you think of her now after watching? I think for me personally it was the little jabs that Courtney would make, and the little comments she would make under her breath and, and the way that she would position herself to be, be noticed more. And those, those are things that I wouldn't do. And also too, as I said this, that she has two sides, and there was a side that she had around the house and there was a side she had around Ben, and I have a problem with somebody who has two different sides. And, because I don't know which one is really you. And so that's what I had the most trouble with about Courtney.
Do you think now that you've been on the show that you have a better idea of what you're looking for in a relationship? Oh, definitely, since the show has aired even, you know, and being there you learned a lot about what you want, but I think also it's just really made me evaluate what I do want in somebody, and it's been, it's been great. That's been one of the positives that's come out of all this.
So what are you looking for? What are you hoping to find in a man? Oh goodness, where do I begin? I think my first two qualities that I really want, that I think have always been consistent in any relationship I've had that have made them work, is I do want somebody that has the same religious beliefs I do, and I want somebody who's going to be like, my best friend. And other than that, you know, I want somebody who's adventurous and fun, that likes to stay on the go, that likes to try new things. There's a long list, but I think those are probably my top three. So the main issues the viewers got to see about your hometown date, was that your father didn't drink and obviously wasn't thrilled to give Ben his permission to marry you, and your mother also voicing her opinion about how she'd be disappointed if you two ended up moving in together after the show. So was that all there was to it behind Ben’s statement that you two were completely different backgrounds and worlds, or did more happen the viewers didn't get to see? Maybe giving Ben a little bit more justification for feeling that way? Yes, I think those were the highlights, and, but going into it, you know, I was like, oh, you know, my dad doesn't drink, and I didn't mean it like in a bad way, I was just preparing him for dinner, you know, thinking, in case he doesn't drink don't be offended, but it's okay if we do. And, you know, I think that... my mom talking about us moving in together those are some things that, you know, are that he wanted to live with whoever he was going to be with and I mean he does own a winery so those are two things in his life that didn't exactly line up with my parents’ views. And so, I think they hit the highlights. They did a good job of hitting the highlights of what could have possibly led to him making his decision.
Chris Harrison has characterized your struggles with respecting your parent's desire that you not live with Ben as an indication that you're still a little young and immature. What is your response to that? Do you believe that being respectful of your parents' feelings is a sign of immaturity? No, I don't think so. At the end of the day they are my parents and they have my best interest at heart and they also want me to, you know, stick to the values that they've instilled in me. And so I want to respect them, but at the same time I think there's also some compromise. And I think that, you know, that could have been, that would have been one of Ben and my's decisions and not theirs at the end of the day.
Once you got home, were you upset with your family at all for maybe scaring Ben off a little bit or changing his mind about your relationship? Or did you believe that they really did the right thing in looking out for you and asking life's important questions... ? No, I wasn't angry with them at all because they stuck to their values which is hard if you get wrapped up in some of this, you know, to do that and to stand up for what they believe. And so I was proud of them for that and also, at the end of the day, we're going to spend holidays with my family and you're going to be a big, they're always going to be a big part of my life. And I feel like that if whoever I'm with or they don't mesh, that could cause problems for me, and them later and so I want everybody to get along. And I want the big Partridge family, I guess, and so [I guess] it wouldn't work.
So now that you've watched the show and sort of gotten the big picture, how have your feelings changed about Ben? I think that watching the show, I still think that Ben is a great guy and I have the utmost respect for him. And I've really — watching the show and seeing why he let certain people go when he did made me respect him even more. You know he didn't want to lead anybody on. And at the same time it just makes me question a little bit what he was looking for. And I thought it was maybe somebody, you know — I told him I was ready for, I wanted to be a mom and have a family and, you know, sometimes that scares people off. And I thought that that might be the point that he was in his life too.
So you said you don't regret warning Ben about Courtney at all but do you think that he took your or anyone else's advice to heart or do you think he kind of just like brushed it off? I think in the beginning he kind of brushed off what Emily said, but when I went back — I mean, I flew across the world to go and talk to him, and I think that he also, I'm not saying that he didn't have respect for other people, but he had a level of respect for me and I think coming back he saw my genuine concern. I mean after watching it I was like my goodness, I knew my heart was racing but my voice was shaking and I think that he knew that I genuinely loved him and cared about him and wanted him to be happy. And that's why I was saying something. So I think that he really gave that a lot of merit.